Connecting 50 U.S. States & 127 Countries Worldwide
and growth take place when a person has
risked himself and dares to become involved
with experimenting with his own life."
~ Dr. Herbert A. Otto, Author & Leader of Human Potential
May 10, 2004
THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
From the Inside Out...
Yes You Can!...
Learn More about Mortgages
Cultural Zulu 'Imizi'
Links That Shine...
Acts of Kindness.org
Even before Hallmark
Laughing It Off...
Untangling the Web...
What a Site!
Look at That!...
Our Latest Discovery...
"I Make Love with Life"
The 90/10 Secret
BE the World
You Want to See!
time we feel twinges of resentment because we are too often asked
to volunteer, it's time to remind ourselves that we CAN choose to
change our behavior and say: "NO" ... a word that will
do wonders for our self-esteem.
~ Chelle ~
From the Inside Out
people are aware of the fact that addictions are used to avoid pain,
and most of us are aware of the common addictions: food, alcohol,
drugs, gambling, TV, spending, work, sex, rage and so on.
people, however, are not aware of the more subtle addictions, the
addictions that are often so covert and pervasive that they are
as invisible to us as the air we breathe. Yet these addictions may
be impacting us negatively as much as the more overt addictions.
Sam, for example. Sam is the kind of person who ends up doing everything,
both at home and at work. Sam works much harder in his retail business
than either of his two partners, and often feels overwhelmed by
the amount of work he has to do. On weekends, he ends up doing a
lot of work around the house, even though he has two strong teenagers
who could be helping out. Even when others offer to help, Sam turns
them down. Sam is devoted to being a "nice guy" and caretaking
others doing for others what they need to be doing for themselves.
On a deeper level, he is always trying to control how others' perceive
wants them to see him as a caring person and often feels victimized
when others do not give him the approval he seeks. Then, when others
react to his attempts to control how they feel about him with irritation
or withdrawal, Sam is angry that they are not approving of him.
he is really upset, he will become sullen. He will often obsessively
ruminate about how unjust his wife is or his partners are. If his
wife wants to explore their problems, Sam goes into defending, explaining
and resisting, stating that she is just trying to control him. When
nothing else works, Sam will withdraw.
are many addictions going on here. The more overt ones are work
and anger. Sam is also addicted to approval, to controlling how
others see him through caretaking, to being a victim and blaming
others for his misery, to obsessive thinking (ruminating), to defending,
explaining, resisting, and withdrawing. All of these addictions
serve the same purpose as the more overt addictions. They are all
attempts to have control over getting love/approval and avoiding
might want to honestly look inside and see what some of your covert
addictions are. Are you addicted to blaming others for your unhappy
feelings? Do you use anger or tears to attempt to make others responsible
for you? Are you addicted to illness as a way to avoid personal
responsibility for yourself?
Do you constantly give yourself up in an attempt to control how
others feel about you? Are you more focused on trying to control
others feelings about you than you are in taking loving care of
yourself? How much of your thinking time is spent in daydreaming
about what you want to say to others or how you wish life was instead
of actually taking loving action for yourself?
you get obsessive in your thinking about what you will say or do
in a particular situation? How often do you explain and defend yourself
rather than open to learning? How often do you get angry or withdraw
to avoid dealing with yourself? How much time do you spend analyzing
and figuring out yourself and others as a way to have control?
behavior other than taking loving, responsible care of yourself
and being open to learning with yourself and others is addictive.
All addictive behaviors are attempts to control rather than learn.
Our intent to control or to learn actually governs all our behavior,
and is the basis of Inner Bonding.
~ By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.,
Author/co-author of several best-selling books, including:
I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?
Bonding : Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child
I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by My Kids?
Your Aloneness: Finding Love & Wholeness Through Your Inner
I Have To Give Up ME to be Loved by GOD?
Visit Dr. Paul's website at www.InnerBonding.com
Yes You Can!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MORTGAGES
are five important questions to ask lenders regarding a mortgage
Does my loan have a prepayment penalty clause?
This is a biggie that applies to every borrower. Some might be puzzled
as to why I included it, since there is a statement about prepayment
penalty on the Truth in Lending (TIL) form. Unfortunately, the way
the statement is worded is so ambiguous and its placement on the
form so distracting that untold numbers of borrowers sign their
TIL without ever realizing that they are subject to a penalty. All
you must remember is that if the TIL says that you "may have
to pay a penalty," it means you will have to pay a penalty.
What are total lender fees?
In addition to points, which are an upfront charge expressed as
a percent of the loan, lenders also charge a variety of fees that
are expressed in dollarsthey do not change with the size of
the loan. These fees are not disclosed on the TIL. They are shown
on the Good Faith Estimate (GFE), which is a separate disclosure
document administered by the Department of Housing and Urban Development.
However, the GFE intermixes lender fees with third-party charges,
provides no total and does not commit the lender, since the numbers
you "lock" the price of the loan, the lender is committed
to the rate and points but not to fees. That paves the way for larceny
at the closing table. The Federal Reserve could easily prevent this
by requiring that all locks apply to the annual percentage rate,
which is calculated from the rate and all lender fees. But it doesn't,
so borrowers must fend for themselves.
to the lender, "please specify, in writing, the total dollar
fees I will pay at closing, and sign it." You don't care about
the individual fees, only the total matters. Many lenders already
do this without being asked, and they all would if shoppers demanded
What is the margin?
This applies to adjustable-rate mortgages (ARMs) only. The margin
on an ARM is the lender's markupthe amount the lender adds
to the interest rate index on a rate adjustment date to obtain the
new interest rate. It can be 1.5 percent; it can also be 6.5 percent.
always quote the initial rate on an ARM, but they seldom quote the
margin and it is not a required disclosure. On an increasing number
of ARMs, the initial rate holds only for 1-3 months. (This includes
all flexible payment or option ARMs and all home equity lines).
On these loans, the borrower knows the interest rate for the first
few months, but often doesn't know the lender's markup over the
remaining 29-plus years. Ask the lender to write down the margin
on your ARM.
Is this a simple interest loan?
On simple interest loans, interest accrues daily instead of monthly,
imposing a stiff penalty on borrowers who pay past the due date.
Most of the borrowers who write me about their problems with simple
interest loans never knew they had one until the problems emerged.
TIL does not require lenders to disclose it.
is a good idea to ask, but you aren't going to know for sure unless
you read the note before signing it at closing, and you may not
know even then. I have seen cases where borrowers were switched
to simple interest when the servicing of their loan was sold. The
new servicer switched all loans where the note did not prohibit
it. This is another reason why borrowers should be able to fire
their servicing agent.
What is your subordination policy?
Very few borrowers who take out a second mortgage are aware that
the second mortgage lender can prevent them from refinancing their
first mortgage. When the existing first mortgage is repaid, the
existing second mortgage automatically becomes the first mortgageunless
the second mortgage lender is willing to subordinate his claim to
that of the lender providing the new mortgage into which the borrower
of second mortgage lenders regarding subordination vary all over
the lot, from a small fee and no conditions to absolute prohibition.
Borrowers taking a second mortgage should get the lender's subordination
policy, in writing, before they close the loan.
Real Estate Industry News
CLICK BELOW TO SHARE THIS ISSUE
WITH YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY
Our International Forum
Subscribers from Over 127 Countries
Check Our Current Topics ...
CULTURAL ZULU 'IMIZI'
South Africa's "KwaZulu-Natal" or Zulu Kingdom is an interaction
of natural wonders, ultra-modern facilities, fascinating cultural
imprints and reminders of a dynamic history in the most breathtakingly
beautiful and varied setting imaginable. Countless species of animals,
birds, plants and butterflies thrive in complex ecosystems and biospheres
woven into the subtropical bush. Cultural Zulu villages were always
circular and built on sloping ground. The main hut of the headman
stood at the highest point, with those of his wives hierarchically
positioned at both sides. An inner circle housed the wealth of the
village the kraal that kept the cattle and grain.
It was a revered area where the spirits of the ancestors were thought
to linger. Availability of land for traditional imizi homestead
structures has become increasingly scarce. Bricks of mortar have
replaced the uhlongwa grass-thatched beehive huts which require
much maintenance. There are, however, a number of fine examples
of these villages that have been established as living museums.
New GLOBAL TRAVEL Archives Below*
"Acts of Kindness"
The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation inspires people to
practice kindness and to pass it on to others. We
provide free educational and community ideas, guidance, and other
resources to kindness participants through our website. (Contributed
by Ron in Bend, Oregon)
EVEN BEFORE HALLMARK
Laughing It Off
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how
many people a company can operate without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone
Scratch a dog or rub a cat and you'll find a permanent job.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at
4 a.m. ... It could be a RIGHT number.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make them all yourself.
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.
If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that
word would be "meetings".
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
No matter what happens ... somebody will find a way to take it too
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual
who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often,
that person is crazy.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
Never lick a steak knife.
Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Your REAL friends still love you anyway.
by Bob in St. Cloud, Florida
Enter below for Our New HUMOR Archives*
Untangling the Web
WHAT A SITE!
Look at satellite and aerial photos of your house or
neighborhood online. TerraServer contains high resolution USGS aerial
imagery and USGS topographic maps. You can locate imagery by clicking
on their map, entering a city or town name in the "Search TerraServer"
form, or entering a United States street address.
In Windows XP, have files display as a list, not icons...
Step 1: Change the view of a displayed folder - With a folder open
(either from My Computer or Windows Explorer), click View
on the file bar. Click the desired view: Thumbnails, Tiles, Icon,
List, Details. The folder being displayed will have the new
2: Apply the view to all folders - With a folder open (either from
My Computer or Windows Explorer), click Tools on the file
bar. Click Folder Options in the drop-down box. The Folder
Options control window will be displayed Click the View tab.
Click the "Apply to all folders" button in the Folder
Views section of the View tab. A confirm box will be displayed to
change the view of all folders to be like the folder you have displayed
Click Yes. Click OK at the bottom of the View tab
to close the Folder Options control window.
(Contributed by Jane at The-Cats-Meow.com)
Look at THAT!
The "Trim Trolley"
allows a shopper to select...
different levels of resistance, making it harder to push, to help
shoppers burn calories while trawling the aisles. It has a pulse
monitor, timer, and computer for working out its speed and how many
calories the shopper has used up. A prototype of the trolley, made
by German form Wanzl, went on display at a branch of Tesco, the
country's biggest supermarket chain, in London. ~Reuters
Just for YOU ...
OUR LATEST DISCOVERY
Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
THE 90/10 SECRET
of people suffer with overwhelming stress, trials, problems, and
heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow
bad days. Theirs is constant stress, lack of joy and broken relationships.
Worry consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems
dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Life feels boring and
often seems cruel. Does any of this sound familiar? If so, do
not be discouraged.
The 90/10 secret can make the difference, though very few people
know it and even less apply it in their lives. What is this secret?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life
is decided by how you react. We really have no control over
10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking
down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule
off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over
this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other
90% by your reaction. You cannot control a plane, but you can
control your reaction. Following are some simple ways to apply
the 90/10 secret:
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge.
You do not have to let the negative comment soak into you! React
properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could
result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out,
2. How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of
mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Why let that
blue car ruin your drive? Remember the 90-10 principle, and dont
worry about it!
3. You learn youve lost your job.
Why lose sleep or get irritated that wont help you
get it back or find a new one. Use your worrying energy
and time to find another job.
4. The plane is late. Its going to mangle your
schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has
no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get
to know the other passenger, etc.
applying the 90-10 secret in your life this very minute and youll
be amazed at the happiness that is created.
~ Chelle Thompson, Editor ~
"The intent of Inspiration Line is to
show What Is Possible . By choosing new perspectives,
we can change ourselves from the inside out to improve our relationships,
our community and our planet."
NOTICE: All articles and images shown are believed to be public
domain and, therefore, re-printable material.
We make every attempt to credit original authors and websites,
and do not intentionally infringe on anyone's copyright.
Where a source is available, it has been stated. If you believe
mistake has been made or know the source of
an unattributed article or image, please write to: Editor@InspirationLine.com
and a correction will be made.
~ Jane Cate, The 'Typo' Fairy
This publication originates in Santa Fe, New Mexico 87502
Copyright © 2004 Inspiration Line -
All Rights Reserved
include "Reprinted from www.InspirationLine.com" whenever
you copy and share Inspiration Line articles.