1.
My mother taught me about ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't
you think I know when you'll be cold?"
2.
My mother taught me about RELIGION:
"You better pray that will
come out of the carpet."
3.
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten
up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4.
My mother taught me about LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's
why."
5.
My mother taught me about FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean
underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6.
My mother taught me about IRONY:
"Keep crying, and I'll give
you something to cry about."
7.
My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until
all that spinach is gone."
8.
My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"This room of yours looks
like a tornado went through it."
9.
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I told you once, I've
told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
10.
My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."
11.
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:
"If you fall out of that
swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store
with me."
12.
My mother taught me about ENVY:
There are millions of less
fortunate kids who dont have wonderful parents like
you do!
13.
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until we get
home."
14.
My mother taught me about the process of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat
your supper."
15.
My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
16.
My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill
each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
17.
My mother taught me about HUMOR:
"When that lawnmower cuts
off your toes, don't come running to me."
18.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables,
you'll never grow up."
19.
My mother taught me about my ROOTS:
"Shut that door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a barn?"
20.
My mother taught me about WISDOM:
"When you get to be my age,
you'll understand."
~Author Unknown (Reprinted from iVillage.com)