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takes off masks that we fear we cannot
live without and know we cannot live within."
~ James A. Baldwin, American 'personal identity' writer
September 13, , 2004
THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
From the Inside Out...
A True Heart's Nature
Yes You Can!...
Be Close to Death,
Closer to Spirit
Links That Shine...
Laughing It Off...
A Little Knowledge
Untangling the Web...
What a Site!
Look at That!...
The Early Worm ...
Just the Facts, Folks
BE the World
You Want to See!
psychologist Dr. Toni Grant tells a story about true friendship.
An old friend arrived early to escort Dr. Toni to an event, so she
had to greet him with no makeup and her hair in a mess. She apologized
for this unsightly appearance ... whereupon the dear man replied,
"Why, Toni, have you forgotten
I love you from the inside out!"
~ Chelle ~
From the Inside Out
A TRUE HEART'S NATURE
minutes to six, said the great round clock over the information
booth in Grand Central Station. The tall young Army lieutenant who
had just come from the direction of the tracks lifted his sunburned
face, and his eyes narrowed to note the exact time. His heart was
pounding with a beat that shocked him because he could not control
it. In six minutes, he would see the woman who had filled such a
special place in his life for the past 13 months, the woman he had
never seen, yet whose written words had been with him and sustained
him unfailingly. John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened
his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way
through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart
he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.
interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library.
Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with
the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin.
The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful
mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's
name Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address.
She now lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing
himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped
overseas for service in World War II.
the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through
the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance
was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused.
She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked
like. 'Suppose I'm beautiful. I'd always be haunted by the feeling
that you had been taking a chance on just that, and that kind of
love would disgust me. Suppose I'm plain (and you must admit that
this is more likely). Then I'd always fear that you were going on
writing to me only because you were lonely and had no one else.
No, don't ask for my picture. When you come to New York, you shall
see me and then you shall make your decision.'
the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled
their first meeting 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station
in New York City. "You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by
the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So
at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he
loved, but whose face he'd never seen.
let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:
young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her
blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were
blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in
her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I
started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not
wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her
lips, 'Going my way, sailor' she murmured.
uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis
was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past
40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than
plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes.
girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though
I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet
so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned
me and upheld my own.
there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her
gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My
fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that
was to identify me to her. This
would not be love, but it would be something precious, something
perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been
and must ever be grateful.
squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman,
even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my
disappointment. 'I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be
Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to
woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. 'I don't know what
this is about, son,' she answered, 'but the young lady in the green
suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat.
And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and
tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across
the street. She said it was some kind of test!'"
not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The
true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unexpected.
"Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will
tell you who you are."
Sulamith Ish-Kishor( 1896-1977)
First Printed in Collier's Magazine, 1943
Yes You Can!
BE CLOSE TO DEATH,
CLOSER TO SPIRIT
are going to die."
I said, slightly dazed.
you dont take these chemo treatments, you are going to die,"
listened to the fear in his voice. He was trying to scare me into
it. Here I am paralyzed from the waist down by a tumor and I'm thinking
to myself, doctors are supposed to be healing people, not shouting
at them. I hung up the phone as he was yelling.
was not my first meeting with cancer. This was my second, only one
year after I was supposedly cured. Now all they could offer was
the realization sets in that this could mean the end of your life,
there is a break that occurs. Everyone reacts differently. After
the fear turned into anger and frustration at a life out of control,
I sat alone and wept like a baby. Not so much for the end of life
itself I had always had a strong belief that physical life
was just a time of lessons and that death was a walk through a door
to the real life. No, it wasnt sorrow for leaving. I had no
family, no children, no unfinished obligations. I was rebelling.
I just didn't want to be forced to go through this torturous disease
accepting that this may be a life or death situation, I made up
my mind. I chose to stay. I wanted to live. There was more to do
in this life. I felt I had not accomplished what my spirit had set
out to do. I was sure I wanted to stay, but inside I knew. In the
back of my mind, I knew the possibility that I may have run out
was now June of 89 and I had been going downhill since March,
slowly losing control of my legs until I required a wheel chair.
(I now have a new-found respect for the handicapped after trying
to maneuver around my little apartment and negotiating with friends
for rides.) I had plunged myself into a regimen of alternative healing
treatments including acupuncture, Reiki (a hands-on healing technique),
macrobiotics, herbs, visualization and anything else I thought might
work, but it wasnt reversing it. There were small gains, but
I felt myself slipping away.
decided to go for chemo for a while, but it didnt seem to
be helping either. My friends had to walk up to my second floor
apartment and carry me down like a sack of potatoes and drive me
to treatments. They had to cook and clean for me. I saw the look
in their eyes behind their cheerful smiles and well wishing. They
too were thinking what the doctors were: its just a matter
chemo session was a procedure of mental and emotional discipline.
The stifling chemical smell lay thick in the air as I waited, pillow
on my lap, until they pumped the drugs into me through the small
plastic receptacle which was embedded in the top of my hand. Just
to sit in the little room at the clinic with all the other ill people
was hard enough. Then I knew what was coming.
cant explain the feeling that follows a treatment. It is like
my body is racing and I am wide awake, my stomach always on the
verge of giving up my breakfast. All I wanted to do was sleep until
the strange, uncomfortable feeling wears off, but it was impossible.
So I lay there switching channels on the TV for hours to take my
attention off of it, until I was feeling human again.
went on for about three months. I did half the treatments recommended
and stopped. Despite the doctors dire warnings, I knew that
I just couldnt do any more.
last time I wheeled into the clinic for a treatment, something strange
came over me. I was really not wanting to be there. The feeling
built and built until I grabbed the wheels on my wheel chair and
just bolted. I took off for the front door of the hospital, the
nurses shouting and chasing me down, until I was stopped because
I didnt have the strength to roll myself up the incline leading
to the front door, to freedom. It was quite a hilarious scene amidst
the gravity of the situation. I was sobbing about not wanting any
more. When they caught up with me, they told me something that I
had not thought of before, that it is my body and I can do what
I want with it. Yes. It was so simple. This is my body, my life.
December, I left my decaying relationship with my girlfriend, all
my friends everything packed up a few things and moved
down to my fathers apartment in Florida. My mother had passed
from this place just last year and I'm sure he thought I would too.
I know it was hard for him.
pretended to see the doctors so he wouldnt worry. Then I took
all my pills, said another prayer "your will, God"
and flushed them down the toilet. I really didn't know if
I could live, but I had to believe. Thats all I had, my belief.
It was a great leap of faith, a gamble with the highest of stakes.
Although I was aware of my spirituality, this was my greatest spiritual
test, one which would determine just how committed I was to what
I felt was the truth.
happens when you are in the whirlwind of a crisis, when you are
so concentrated on healing and believing. It is as if it triggers
a mechanism that denies you from thinking about the worst possible
scenario. Its what prevents you from collapsing on the floor
in a heaving mass of jelly. This concentration kept my energy focused
on living, not dying. It was more than positive reinforcement, it
was an absolute necessity for healing. For without the daily, hourly,
even minute-to-minute thoughts creating a mantra of life, love and
God, I would succumb to the human fears that would bring to me what
I feared. That I knew. We attract to us what we concentrate on.
day at my fathers apartment, I would read inspiring material,
eat healthy food, sit in the sun. Every day I would get up, get
myself dressed and walk as best I could. At first it was just moving
slowly down the narrow hall of the apartment over and over, slinging
my legs with all my might, steadying myself with my hands. So much
so, my handprints started to show on the walls. Then I moved to
a walker and was able to go outside for periods at a time. Slowly,
the life force was coming back to my legs. Finally I was walking
on my own, slightly hunched, like a little old man, or a toddler
tentatively taking his first steps
May of 1990 I was walking pretty well. By June I was ready to leave
Florida and resume my life in Rhode Island. I had gone from completely
paralyzed to fully walking in six months. I was skinny, but I was
alive at least for the time being. I showed myself to the
doctors who said before that I would not live. They werent
impressed. But I was.
now and then I look back at the whole ordeal. When someone wonders
aloud how I ever got through it, I silently wonder how, also. I
try to picture myself going through it to try to understand what
it took to make it, but even that is too hard. The only things I
will never forget are the lessons I learned.
were many revelations in my healing process. The biggest of them
all is forgiveness both of self and of others and
acceptance. Acceptance of who I am, how the world is and how others
are. When these hurdles fell, I started to heal. You can't measure
it on a graph, you just know its true.
once so close to death, I am now closer to Spirit than ever before.
In an intimate way, every day, I am grateful for the new life that
I have. I am also more aware that I am a part of God and a part
of all things. To live life with this knowing and strong belief
is a blessing. It keeps me centered and calm, even in the midst
of crisis and confusion. It keeps my heart open and helps me in
sensing my spiritual self at all times.
soul that is here now telling this story is a far different person
than before. The old me is gone, the new and hopefully improved
version remaining with another test under my belt, another living
testament to the strength of Spirit, the willingness to release
old ways and the free will to choose to survive. Another soul still
here working through the earthly experience.
try to catch myself when I waste my time being angry or regretful.
I take full advantage of all that I can to express my creativity
and to work through all my obsessions, anxieties and fears. I am
still scared and uncertain about many things, but I face them more
bravely now. I try to live each day as if it were the last. Sometimes
this means just sitting alone in silence or walking in the woods.
But most times it means a lot of activity, as I am anxious to experience
as much as I can, and to contribute as much as I can, and learn
as much as I can. For at any time when I least expect it, Spirit
could sneak up behind me, tap me on the shoulder politely and quietly
say, "Its time....," and I want to be able to honestly
reply, "Im ready."
Howell is a New Age writer, musician, composer, poet and publisher.
He is the director of The Eyes of Kwan Yin, a spiritual work located
He is part-owner and founder of Sun Sprite
a metaphysical book publishing company which just published a
new gift book called "A Flower Unfolds," spiritual teachings
from Kwan Yin with beautiful Asian art, channeled by Marjorie Musacchio.
He can be reached at email@example.com
or by toll free voice mail at 877-883-4798.
One of Hong Kong's oldest sights is the floating
in Aberdeen Harbor, a natural typhoon shelter at the south side
of Hong Kong Island. It was a pirates den two centuries ago
and later the main fishing and entrée port of pre-colonial
Hong Kong. This fascinating fishing port is only indirectly connected
with Aberdeen in Scotland: it was named after Lord Aberdeen who
was Foreign Secretary from 1841 to 1850. The first British sailors
who used it as a watering place called it 'Waterfall Bay', a name
now given to another place. Where a rocky stream discharges into
the harbor was the village of' Heung Kong Wai, which means
'the Walled Village of the Fragrant Lagoon'. The sailors learned
this name, pronounced it Hong Kong and applied it to the whole island.
Aberdeen is a true cultural experience, full of bright colors,
strange sounds and mystifying aromas. Take a sampan ride to see
what it's all about, then enjoy a sumptuous seafood dinner at one
of the large floating restaurants in the harbor.
The sampan travels beside the Jumbo Restaurant, a giant eatery comprised
of three huge boats permanently anchored in that harbor, worthy
of some colorful photos and video.
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Quotes & Categories
Laughing It Off
A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE ...
following are actual answers given on history tests and in
Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grades.
They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers
Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote
in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Desseret. The climate of
the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits,
and threw the java. The games were messier than they show on TV
now. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them
we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
young female moth.
led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened
bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up
to Mount cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever
reached Canada but the commandos made it.
had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was a actual
hysterical figure a and it sounds like he was sort of busy too.
was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.
They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which
is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a
Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies.
Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family
had to have a job, I guess.
Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes
and started smoking.
greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was
born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes, He wrote Donkey
Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise
Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas
Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the
Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by
rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided
against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure.
Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. On the night of April
14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by
one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator
was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's
Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and died from 1750
to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and
so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.
He was very large.
by Bern in Indianapolis, Indiana
HUMOR ARCHIVES: ...
Untangling the Web
WHAT A SITE!
"Your Amazing Brain"
This site is broken into sections: Brain and Body,
Super Senses, Inside Your Brain, Love and Sex, Your Memory, and
Test Yourself. "Super
Senses" has an Optical Illusion section and An Upside Down
Face section. At
"Inside Your Brain" you can learn what your brain looks
like, what your dreams might be about in comparison to other people,
and what your brain waves mean. Go
to "Your Memory" and test your memory with games and quizzes
that will let you know where you stand as far as memory capacity
goes. Learn what memory chunking is and how it affects you. If
you want to skip all the information and just play games, take quizzes
then go to "Test Yourself".
by Jane at TheCatsMeow.com
to stop Auto-connection?
you like to
stop your computer from connecting to the Internet without your
permission? With Internet Explorer go to Tools / Internet Options,
then under the "Connections" tab select "Never Dial
a Connection". ~WorldStart.com
Look at THAT!
THE EARLY WORM ...
REUTERS /Alexandra Winkler
A woman holds the new "Max, der Wurm"...
"Max the Worm" kids shoe from sportswear maker
K2 Munich is being tried out on cost-conscious German shoppers.
By pushing the silver button the concertina panel can be lengthened
between the toe and heel to accommodate quickly growing children's
feet and bring relief to frustrated parents who want to avoid buying
their children countless pairs of new shoes. Bernadette Lingg, a
spokeswoman for K2, an American firm, said on Tuesday it was targeting
Germany where shoppers' keen eye for a bargain has been sharpened
by economic worries that prompt many to think twice before opening
their wallets. ~REUTERS
Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
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"The intent of Inspiration Line is to
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