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"If the children acquiesce, they may learn to
suppress their anger to avoid retribution. But the
rage remains inside, often just below the surface."

~ Alvin Rosenfeld & Saul Wasserman
"Healing the Heart" (Published 1990)

February 16, 2004


TODAY'S TUNE
(On/Off)


"I Would Do
ANYTHING for Love"


THIS WEEK'S ISSUE


From the Inside Out...

Suppression

Yes You Can!...
Protect Teeth
from Soda

Far Horizons...
Ukai-Toriyama

Links That Shine...
"Soul Talk Stories"

Fascinating Facts...
Is There a Doctor
in the House?

Laughing It Off...
Checkin' in to the
Holiday Inn

Untangling the Web...
What a Site!
&
Computer Ease

Look at That!...
Micro-bot

Our Latest Discovery...
SoulWorks

Joyful Lifestyles...
Clarity in
Family Dynamics
(Part 3)


Inspiration

BE the World
You Want to See!

As a child I was sculpted by an extremely controlling mother, yet I was simultaneously blessed with a squadron of guardian angels who constantly whispered Truth into my 'ethereal ear.' While my environment taught me bigotry, for example, I had an inner 'Knowingness' that allowed me to reject that heartless viewpoint ... even at a very early age.

~ Chelle ~

Archives Here

 

From the Inside OutInspiration
"SUPPRESSION"

If a person has different intentions than you, and expresses them persuasively, you may end up feeling suppressed, depressed and stressed.

The other person is not necessarily evilly intentioned toward you, or anything of that nature. They may be well intentioned and often are. They merely have to cross your goals and purposes without malice or forethought and for the best of reasons. As someone once said: "The path to Hell is paved with good intentions and roofed with tears."

So what is suppression? Suppression can be defined as being forced out of one's own time and space by another's purposes and goals. One moves out of one's own identity into the time and space of another's goals and purposes in order to handle the situation being presented - instead of saying "Get stuffed" or something more diplomatic and going on with what one was intending to do in the first place. In other words one didn't maintain integrity.

There are two directions in which one might move - toward or away from. Either creates the "Catch 22" situation that is suppression. One can align with the other's identity, which their goal or purpose imposes, or one can resist the goal or purpose and move away from the influence of the suppressing identity - but this is not to be one's true self either, because you have been forced out of the space you wanted to be in.

But there is another alternative one could maintain one's integrity, just be oneself. This also means taking responsibility, acting on the basis of a clear sense of one's own identity, goals and purposes - then one doesn't need to resist or fight or escape as one is no longer vulnerable to suppression.

For example, a proud father wants his son to become an engineer like himself. If this is not what the son intends, he either complies and makes a lousy engineer and is subject to suppression throughout his life by having to follow his father's vocation - or he resists this persuasion and becomes something quite the opposite, such as an artist. But he doesn't do well at it this either because it was set up in opposition to his father, not as something he really wanted to do. So again that person feels continually suppressed by life.

His problem is that neither way can he be himself, a "Catch 22." Compliance or resistance generates constant emotional charge in the person's life that doesn't resolve. Its a locked situation. He may - and normally does - hide this situation from himself, and he may have no real idea who he himself is, what he really wants to be and do in life, what his true goals and purposes are.

So what can you do? Notice which people in your life make you feel GOOD and which make you feel BAD. When you find yourself feeling limited or put down or depressed in somebody's presence, write down who it is and exactly what happened. When you feel uplifted and in a good mood in somebody's presence, note down who it was and exactly what happened. Look for specific reasons for your feelings in those situations. What is the difference between the people or situations where you feel good and the ones where you feel bad?

Isolate what is going on. What are your intentions, likes, dislikes, purposes and goals that are being suppressed. They may be being suppressed by yourself now as well, but originally they were aspects of your own identity that were effectively suppressed by another's influence. Or that suppressive influence - perhaps with the "best of intentions" but not your intentions - may be continuing into the present.

Just recognizing the truth of one's current situation will help to free it up. Work out how you can organize your life to minimize the negativity and reclaim your power. Remember that the situations in your life where you feel "at effect" or a victim are something YOU are doing and creating by yourself. Your choices are involved. It might appear to be other people's fault, however, we are the ultimate cause of our lives.

When I was a child, parents or teachers were "always right," and I had to conform to their rules. They had all the power. So the choices left would be extreme, like running away from home or jumping from a bridge; or being unquestioningly obedient and gradually losing touch with myself; or just being thoroughly depressed. How can these experiences be resolved? The past cannot be undone but I can change my interpretation of it.

From a mature, adult point of view I can show my inner child that perhaps another choice remains: to understand that my parents or teachers may have been misguided but were acting in what they thought to be my best interest; so instead of feeling resentment I now have the choice to feel a little more understanding and empathy. Then I have the choice to forgive them - a choice that I did not feel I had back then - and to learn some valuable life lessons from the experience.

 

~ By Peter Shepherd, Tools for Transformation
Website: www.Trans4Mind.com
"Minds, like parachutes, function better when open"


Inspiration
Ye
s You Can!

PROTECT TEETH FROM SODA

If you rush to brush your teeth right after drinking soda, think again. Doing so may actually do more harm than good, and it's better to wait 30 or 60 minutes before brushing, according to recent research.

Because carbonated drinks are highly acidic and have the potential to damage a tooth's enamel, dentists at Goettingen University, Germany, conducted a study to determine the best time to brush after drinking such beverages. They found that later - rather than immediate - brushing is between three and five times more effective at protecting enamel from the erosive effects of carbonated drinks.

In the study, 11 volunteers wore a sterilized piece of tooth-like material in a removable prosthesis for three weeks. This was removed in the mornings and evenings and soaked for 90 seconds in a liquid similar in acidity to soda.

Afterward, the prosthesis was brushed using an electric toothbrush at different times after the 'drink.' Three weeks later, the researchers measured the thickness of the enamel to see how much damage had been inflicted on the 'tooth.'

Professor Thomas Attin, director of the university's department for tooth protection, preventative dentistry and periodontology, said, "The loss of material was less when the participants waited with cleaning for between 30 and 60 minutes."

Professor Attin presented the research at the annual meeting of the German Association for Tooth Protection, where it was awarded a prize from chewing gum firm Wrigley.

He said tooth enamel appears to suffer less damage when brushing occurs after the tooth has had time to mount its own defense against acidic erosion.

Acidic substances attack tooth enamel, he said, and upper layers of the tooth can even be dissolved in some acidic drinks. However, protective agents in saliva may help repair and rebuild damaged tooth enamel.

Waiting for a while seems to give the teeth a chance to rebuild, the researchers said, while immediate cleaning of such teeth can increase the damage by literally brushing off the affected layers.


~Hannah Cleaver, Health.Reuters.com


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Far Horizons

UKAI-TORIYAMA

Japan
Check Here
Perched on the lush slopes of Mt. Takao about 40 minutes from Tokyo, Ukai-Toriyama (“bird mountain”) is more retreat than restaurant, more a lesson in Japanese culture than Nippon cuisine. With 38 huts nestled among stone pathways, carp pools, streams and gardens, a trip to Ukai-Toriyama is like stepping back in time to the Edo period. That’s because the buildings are constructed in the 300-year-old temple style. Each private room has soft tatami mats and low tables with a sunken, carefully-groomed sandpit into which iron grills and charcoal are set. Kimono- clad waitresses, their every gesture a ceremony, scurry between the houses delivering vegetables, fish, and meat, which the guest cooks slowly over the grill.

Travel ArchivesTravel Archives


Links That Shine

Inspiration
"Soul Talk Stories"


Read recent news article about Roger King's wonderful book: Visit: "Love The Miracle You Are"

This site creates a genuine circle of love in those
who read and/or submit stories that come from
the heart and soul. Please enjoy and dare to
share what you ache for, and what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

www.SoulTalkStories.com


 

 

Fascinating Facts
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?


Inspiration
What is the origin of the word "quack,"
meaning a fake or unethical doctor?

Check
Answer Here
?????

Old Jogger
Laughing It Off
CHECKIN' IN TO THE HOLIDAY INN

No nursing home for me!! ....

With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble.

I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.

And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are okay. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

"So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all my emails to the Holiday Inn!!
"

 

~Contributed by Sherry in Miami, Florida
Humor Archives

 

Untangling the Web

Inspiration
WHAT A SITE!

"Ask Dr. Universe"
What do worms eat? Do identical twins have the same fingerprints? Do trees ever stop growing? Dr. Universe can be your access to university research. The average citizen doesn't often have such direct access. Most important, Dr. Universe is not afraid to ask the big questions that need to be asked — like "What exactly is this ozone stuff, anyway?" and "Why don't spiders stick to their own webs?"
www.wsu.edu/DrUniverse


COMPUTER-EASE

Navigating between programs....
One easy way to switch between programs you have open is to hit ALT+TAB. A small box will pop up with icons for all the currently open programs. Hold down ALT, then simply hit TAB until the window you're looking for is highlighted. Notice
that as you tab, the title bar information is displayed below the icons. Also, hold down the ALT & SHIFT key while hitting TAB to go backwards through the list. ~Contributed by
Jane at
www.online-TheCatsMeow.com


Look at THAT!
MICRO-BOT

Micro Flying Robot
Photo: Issei Kato /Reuters
Check Here
The World's smallest flying robot...
developed by the Seiko-Epson Corporation was registered in the Guinness Book of World Records as the smallest flying robot. The remote controlled Micro Flying Robot uses an ultrasonic motor, 2 super thin blades for lift, and weighs 8.9 grams. It can balance in midair with a stabilizer called a linear actuator. "The robot has a camera and can fly into dangerous areas or areas hit by disasters in place of human beings. In a word, it functions as an eye," explained Junji Ajioka, strategic business development division.
"For example, the robot can enter a house flattened by an earthquake and check if anybody is trapped inside." ~Reuters

 

Just for YOU ...
OUR LATEST DISCOVERY

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SoulWorks Coaching Supports & Creates New Ways Of Living!!!

SoulWorks offers a creative coaching experience of personal growth, self-discovery, and reclaiming the vitality of the Soul. One-on-one coaching sessions are focused on removing obstacles to Soul Expression,
Life Purpose, and Self-Actualization.

Enter Here to Visit Our Website for More Details!


Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly InsightsJoy
CLARITY IN FAMILY DYNAMICS (Part 3)

Codependency shows up in dysfunctional families through the typical strategies of: minimizing, projection, intellectualizing and denial. Minimizing acknowledges there may be a problem, but makes light of it. Projection blames the problem on others, and may appoint a scapegoat to bear the family's shame. Intellectualizing tries to explain the problem away, believing that by offering a convenient excuse or explanation, the problem will be resolved. Denial demands that other people and self believe there is no problem. Janet Kizziar, PhD psychologist and author of Search for Acceptance: The Adolescent and Self-Esteem lists rules which encourage the unnatural patterns of relating in these codependent family systems:

• Don't talk about problems
• Don't express feelings openly or honestly
• Communicate indirectly, through acting out or sulking, or via another family member
• Have unrealistic expectations about what the Dependent will do for you
• Don't be selfish, think of the other person first
• Don't take your parents as an example, "do as I say, not as I do"
• Don't have fun
• Don't rock the boat, keep the status quo
• Don't talk about sex
• Don't challenge your parent's belief systems or these family rules

In authoritarian families, whose members may be subjected to a black-and-white, one-dimensional view of the universe by a dominant parent or inflexible/fundamentalist family values, Dr. Kizziar believes individuals may have the following problems.

1. They suffer from a frozen identity state, dominated by oppressively strict moral values.
2. Their feelings become cut off from beliefs, and they no longer are certain what they really feel.
3. The members experience great difficulty in thinking and deciding for themselves, as dogma
....or parental authority overshadows free choice and independent thinking.
4. They have discomfort sharing honestly about their past, as they believe they must continually
....pretend they are living up to the ideal held up to them by their authoritarian parents.

(Next, we will delve into "role playing" within dysfunctional families ...)


~ Chelle Thompson, Editor ~

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