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"If the children acquiesce, they may learn to
suppress their anger to avoid retribution. But the
rage remains inside, often just below the surface."
~ Alvin Rosenfeld & Saul Wasserman
"Healing the Heart" (Published 1990)
February 16, 2004
"I Would Do
ANYTHING for Love"
THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
From the Inside Out...
Yes You Can!...
Links That Shine...
"Soul Talk Stories"
Is There a Doctor
in the House?
Laughing It Off...
Checkin' in to the
Untangling the Web...
What a Site!
Look at That!...
Our Latest Discovery...
BE the World
You Want to See!
As a child I was sculpted by an extremely controlling mother,
yet I was simultaneously blessed with a squadron of guardian angels
who constantly whispered Truth into my 'ethereal ear.' While my
environment taught me bigotry, for example, I had an inner 'Knowingness'
that allowed me to reject that heartless viewpoint ... even at a
very early age.
~ Chelle ~
From the Inside Out
a person has different intentions than you, and expresses them persuasively,
you may end up feeling suppressed, depressed and stressed.
other person is not necessarily evilly intentioned toward you, or
anything of that nature. They may be well intentioned and often
are. They merely have to cross your goals and purposes without malice
or forethought and for the best of reasons. As someone once said:
"The path to Hell is paved with good intentions and roofed
what is suppression? Suppression can be defined as being forced
out of one's own time and space by another's purposes and goals.
One moves out of one's own identity into the time and space of another's
goals and purposes in order to handle the situation being presented
instead of saying "Get stuffed" or something more diplomatic
and going on with what one was intending to do in the first place.
In other words one didn't maintain integrity.
are two directions in which one might move -
toward or away from. Either creates the "Catch 22" situation
that is suppression. One can align with the other's identity, which
their goal or purpose imposes, or one can resist the goal or purpose
and move away from the influence of the suppressing identity -
but this is not to be one's true self either, because you have been
forced out of the space you wanted to be in.
there is another alternative one
could maintain one's integrity, just be oneself. This also means
taking responsibility, acting on the basis of a clear sense of one's
own identity, goals and purposes -
then one doesn't need to resist or fight or escape as one is no
longer vulnerable to suppression.
example, a proud father wants his son to become an engineer like
himself. If this is not what the son intends, he either complies
and makes a lousy engineer and is subject to suppression throughout
his life by having to follow his father's vocation -
or he resists this persuasion and becomes something quite the opposite,
such as an artist. But he doesn't do well at it this either because
it was set up in opposition to his father, not as something he really
wanted to do. So again that person feels continually suppressed
problem is that neither way can he be himself, a "Catch 22."
Compliance or resistance generates constant emotional charge in
the person's life that doesn't resolve. Its a locked situation.
He may -
normally does -
hide this situation from himself, and he may have no real idea who
he himself is, what he really wants to be and do in life, what his
true goals and purposes are.
what can you do? Notice which people in your life make you feel
GOOD and which make you feel BAD. When you find yourself feeling
limited or put down or depressed in somebody's presence, write down
who it is and exactly what happened. When you feel uplifted and
in a good mood in somebody's presence, note down who it was and
exactly what happened. Look for specific reasons for your feelings
in those situations. What is the difference between the people or
situations where you feel good and the ones where you feel bad?
what is going on. What are your intentions, likes, dislikes, purposes
and goals that are being suppressed. They may be being suppressed
by yourself now as well, but originally they were aspects of your
own identity that were effectively suppressed by another's influence.
Or that suppressive influence -
perhaps with the "best of intentions" but not your intentions
may be continuing into the present.
recognizing the truth of one's current situation will help to free
it up. Work out how you can organize your life to minimize the negativity
and reclaim your power. Remember that the situations in your life
where you feel "at effect" or a victim are something YOU
are doing and creating by yourself. Your choices are involved. It
might appear to be other people's fault, however, we are the ultimate
cause of our lives.
I was a child, parents or teachers were "always right,"
and I had to conform to their rules. They had all the power. So
the choices left would be extreme, like running away from home or
jumping from a bridge; or being unquestioningly obedient and gradually
losing touch with myself; or just being thoroughly depressed. How
can these experiences be resolved? The past cannot be undone but
I can change my interpretation of it.
a mature, adult point of view I can show my inner child that perhaps
another choice remains: to understand that my parents or teachers
may have been misguided but were acting in what they thought to
be my best interest; so instead of feeling resentment I now have
the choice to feel a little more understanding and empathy. Then
I have the choice to forgive them -
a choice that I did not feel I had back then -
and to learn some valuable life lessons from the experience.
Shepherd, Tools for Transformation
"Minds, like parachutes, function better when open"
Yes You Can!
PROTECT TEETH FROM SODA
you rush to brush your teeth right after drinking soda, think again.
Doing so may actually do more harm than good, and it's better to
wait 30 or 60 minutes before brushing, according to recent research.
carbonated drinks are highly acidic and have the potential to damage
a tooth's enamel, dentists at Goettingen University, Germany, conducted
a study to determine the best time to brush after drinking such
beverages. They found that later -
rather than immediate -
brushing is between three and five times more effective at protecting
enamel from the erosive effects of carbonated drinks.
the study, 11 volunteers wore a sterilized piece of tooth-like material
in a removable prosthesis for three weeks. This was removed in the
mornings and evenings and soaked for 90 seconds in a liquid similar
in acidity to soda.
the prosthesis was brushed using an electric toothbrush at different
times after the 'drink.' Three weeks later, the researchers measured
the thickness of the enamel to see how much damage had been inflicted
on the 'tooth.'
Thomas Attin, director of the university's department for tooth
protection, preventative dentistry and periodontology, said, "The
loss of material was less when the participants waited with cleaning
for between 30 and 60 minutes."
Attin presented the research at the annual meeting of the German
Association for Tooth Protection, where it was awarded a prize from
chewing gum firm Wrigley.
said tooth enamel appears to suffer less damage when brushing occurs
after the tooth has had time to mount its own defense against acidic
substances attack tooth enamel, he said, and upper layers of the
tooth can even be dissolved in some acidic drinks. However, protective
agents in saliva may help repair and rebuild damaged tooth enamel.
for a while seems to give the teeth a chance to rebuild, the researchers
said, while immediate cleaning of such teeth can increase the damage
by literally brushing off the affected layers.
~Hannah Cleaver, Health.Reuters.com
Perched on the lush slopes of Mt. Takao about
40 minutes from Tokyo, Ukai-Toriyama (bird mountain)
is more retreat than restaurant, more a lesson in Japanese culture
than Nippon cuisine. With 38 huts nestled among stone pathways,
carp pools, streams and gardens, a trip to Ukai-Toriyama is like
stepping back in time to the Edo period. Thats because the
buildings are constructed in the 300-year-old temple style. Each
private room has soft tatami mats and low tables with a sunken,
carefully-groomed sandpit into which iron grills and charcoal are
set. Kimono- clad waitresses, their every gesture a ceremony, scurry
between the houses delivering vegetables, fish, and meat, which
the guest cooks slowly over the grill.
"Soul Talk Stories"
Read recent news article about Roger King's wonderful book: Visit:
"Love The Miracle You Are"
This site creates a genuine circle of love in those
who read and/or submit stories that come from
the heart and soul. Please enjoy and dare to
share what you ache for, and what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
What is the origin of the word "quack,"
meaning a fake or unethical doctor?
Laughing It Off
CHECKIN' IN TO THE HOLIDAY INN
No nursing home for me!! ....
With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching
$188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble.
I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a
combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23
per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:
Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer,
dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free
shampoo and soap.
treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day
will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap
bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other
nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one
of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly
somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will
take your reservation today.
And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn
to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have
a Holiday Inn there too.
broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid
checks to see if you are okay. If not, they will call the undertaker
or an ambulance.
you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday
Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to
find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The
grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all my emails to the Holiday Inn!!"
~Contributed by Sherry in Miami, Florida
Untangling the Web
WHAT A SITE!
"Ask Dr. Universe"
What do worms eat? Do identical twins have the same fingerprints?
Do trees ever stop growing? Dr. Universe can be your access to university
research. The average citizen doesn't often have such direct access.
Most important, Dr. Universe is not afraid to ask the big questions
that need to be asked like "What exactly is this ozone
stuff, anyway?" and "Why don't spiders stick to their
Navigating between programs....
easy way to switch between programs you have open is to hit ALT+TAB.
A small box will pop up with icons for all the currently open programs.
Hold down ALT, then simply hit TAB until the window
you're looking for is highlighted. Notice
that as you tab, the title bar information is displayed below the
icons. Also, hold down the ALT & SHIFT key while hitting
TAB to go backwards through the list. ~Contributed
Jane at www.online-TheCatsMeow.com
Look at THAT!
Photo: Issei Kato /Reuters
The World's smallest flying
developed by the Seiko-Epson Corporation was registered in the Guinness
Book of World Records as the smallest flying robot. The remote controlled
Micro Flying Robot uses an ultrasonic motor, 2 super thin blades
for lift, and weighs 8.9 grams. It can balance in midair with a
stabilizer called a linear actuator. "The robot has a camera
and can fly into dangerous areas or areas hit by disasters in place
of human beings. In a word, it functions as an eye," explained
Junji Ajioka, strategic business development
example, the robot can enter a house flattened by an earthquake
and check if anybody is trapped inside." ~Reuters
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Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
CLARITY IN FAMILY DYNAMICS (Part 3)
shows up in dysfunctional families through the typical strategies
of: minimizing, projection, intellectualizing and denial.
Minimizing acknowledges there may be a problem, but makes
light of it. Projection blames the problem on others, and
may appoint a scapegoat to bear the family's shame. Intellectualizing
tries to explain the problem away, believing that by offering
a convenient excuse or explanation, the problem will be resolved.
Denial demands that other people and self believe there
is no problem. Janet
Kizziar, PhD psychologist and author of Search
for Acceptance: The Adolescent and Self-Esteem lists
rules which encourage the unnatural patterns of relating in these
codependent family systems:
Don't talk about problems
Don't express feelings openly or honestly
Communicate indirectly, through acting out or sulking, or via
another family member
Have unrealistic expectations about what the Dependent will
do for you
Don't be selfish, think of the other person first
Don't take your parents as an example, "do as I say, not
as I do"
Don't have fun
Don't rock the boat, keep the status quo
Don't talk about sex
Don't challenge your parent's belief systems or these family
authoritarian families, whose members may be subjected to a black-and-white,
one-dimensional view of the universe by a dominant parent or inflexible/fundamentalist
family values, Dr. Kizziar believes
individuals may have the following problems.
They suffer from a frozen identity state, dominated by oppressively
strict moral values.
2. Their feelings become cut off from beliefs, and they no
longer are certain what they really feel.
3. The members experience great difficulty in thinking and
deciding for themselves, as dogma
....or parental authority overshadows
free choice and independent thinking.
4. They have discomfort sharing honestly about their past,
as they believe they must continually
....pretend they are living up
to the ideal held up to them by their authoritarian parents.
we will delve into "role playing" within dysfunctional
~ Chelle Thompson, Editor ~
"The intent of Inspiration Line is to
show What Is Possible . By choosing new perspectives,
we can change ourselves from the inside out to improve our relationships,
our community and our planet."
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