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waste of life lies in the love we have not given,
the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence
that will risk nothing, and which, shirking pain,
misses happiness as well."
Mary Cholmondeley, Inspirational English Author
"Letting Out the Reins" (1859-1925)
"Love Will Keep
From the Inside Out...
Pushes Your Buttons
Agree to Be Happy
What a Site!
a Time of Life ..."
BE the World
You Want to See!
"No matter where we go,
there WE are ..."
There's no escaping it, the common denominator in each and
every relationship in our life is: OURSELVES. The person
I am today is a direct result of my past experiences and
the fact that I chose to pay attention and learn. When we
stay conscious, we eventually recognize the gifts that our
From the Inside Out
WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE PUSHES
is more aggravating in relationships than having your buttons pushed
by the one you love. It seems ironic that the one you love could
make you so insane. But once the honeymoon period cools and real
life sets in, we all take our partners off the pedestal and begin
to notice their less than finer points. People often ask me how
to fix common relationship problems such as this. Sometimes the
best thing to do is just let the dark parts come up so you can shine
a light on them. As Mary Sarton once said, "No partner in a
love relationship should feel that he has to give up an essential
part of himself to make it viable." True love is a state of
freedom and authenticity. It is not our place to try to fix, change
or make somebody else okay in life.
a Bad Thing: Your partner probably brings up some of the unresolved
issues and forces you to revisit and reflect on that within you
that needs some attention and healing. Relationships often bring
all our "issues" up. Bringing these things to light is
not necessarily a "bad thing."
To Learn: The people who show up in our lives all have a lesson
to bring us or learn with us. When relationships are difficult is
often because they are highlighting a hidden part of the self that
we have disowned or weren't even aware of. Intimate relationships
beg us to explore our shadow selves. These shadows are not the "boogie
man/woman;" they are signs that within lives unknown aspects
of self. In many cases, these parts would never be discovered, were
it not for the partner who pushes your buttons! The gift is a chance
to look more deeply into ourselves
and an opportunity to love
ourselves even more by loving "the other."
difficult relationships are sacred: If someone shows up in
your life to share love, you have been given the great gift of a
partner to help you navigate the sometimes smooth, and sometimes
choppy, ocean of Relationships. This person can be a romantic partner,
a friend, a co-worker, or a family member. If a relationship or
interaction is stimulating or triggering negative emotions or fears,
note how this person makes you angry, what it is about them makes
your blood boil; get in touch with how it is you may feel unloved
or upset around them. Then consider they are reflecting something
to you that comes from within you. It is one of the hardest lessons
for us to learn in life because we always want to point a finger
at the other person.
Responsibilities of Loving: In these relationships, you may
feel that you want to flee
but you cannot flee from yourself.
You will only recreate the same pattern elsewhere. When you learn
to pay attention to the darker side of relationships and not be
fearful simply because it is dark, you will learn which relationships
are truly good for you and which you must leave behind. And you
will be able to learn which partnerships are ultimately healing
and which add injury and insult. This is a process that requires
you to take a lot of personal responsibility - to detect and admit
your own imbalances and to take on the work of healing them, and
by observing and making a decision to alter co-dependent and unhealthy
the Relationship: Love, by its very nature, brings with it a
subtle yet sweeping transformative power that brings us closer to
our own greatness. But each partner in a love relationship - as
well as friends and family members - must get there of their own
accord, with love as the gentle impetus, not as the sledge hammer
that enforces change. You can't fix your partner, although you can
begin to alter your own understanding, behavior and consciousness
in the relationship. You can begin to steer the relationship toward
a more conscious exploration of the shadowy sides of loving and
being intimate with another.
When it's Over: Some people come to us to teach us and then
they move on. Some come to learn with us but fail to take away from
the relationship the lessons that will empower them to grow. It
is important to assess the signs of a partner who has no intention
to evolve. The proof here is in the pudding: they simply never make
any effort to change and you end up doing all emotional work in
the relationship. You will naturally want to do all you can to help
this person along, but there will come a time of reckoning, of absolute
truth telling, when you must assess if a relationship has run its
course. And it is always wise to clarify the differences between
getting your buttons pushed as a natural process of relating and
being in a relationship that is filled with a lot of upset and aggravation.
Word: Talk to your loved one and see if she/he is willing to
discuss the situation and find out her/his point of view as well:
Is she/he feeling her buttons pushed by you? Telling the truth,
and opening the door to her telling the truth, is the first step
to liberate you and your loved one from a negative pattern you may
be stuck in. See if you can open the dialog for some conscious and
loving exploration. It's always a more pleasant experience if you
and your partner can deal with things in a conscious, loving way.
Copyright © 2003 Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway. All rights reserved.
is an author, teacher, clergy person, and
creator of the email course:
Your Romantic Resumé"
which is available at Self-Healing
COST TO YOU, SPONSORS CONTRIBUTE EVERY TIME YOU "CLICK"
WITH FIVE HUMANITARIAN ORGANIZATIONS FEATURED
ON OUR WEBSITE
HAVE FEWER WRINKLES
The most important advice is to use sunscreen
every day. A number of studies have shown that perhaps 80% of what
makes a person's face look older is related to sun exposure. If
you begin using sunscreen when you are young, then you may look
younger for a much longer time. An SPF of 15 or better is recommended,
one that blocks both UVA and UVB rays.
the ozone layer becomes increasingly depleted, the use of sunscreen
becomes even more important. Also, the incidence of melanoma, a
potentially fatal skin cancer, is directly linked to sun exposure,
so the regular use of sunscreen may help you live longer as well
as look younger.
in cigarettes not only causes your heart arteries to constrict,
thereby increasing the risk of a heart attack, but also causes the
small arterioles and capillaries in your face to constrict. This
leads to wrinkling and premature aging. The next time you are at
a party, take a look at the people who are smoking. They often look
much older than their age.
emotional stress also causes the same constriction of your blood
vessels as nicotine, so practicing stress management techniques
on a regular basis may help you look younger as well as feel better.
also affects wrinkles. Earlier this year, researchers led by Dr.
Mark L. Wahlqvist of Monash University in Melbourne, Australia,
studied the current diets of more than 400 adults aged 70 and older
living in Australia, Greece, or Sweden. The researchers found that
even when they factored in age and smoking, diet still played a
role in wrinkling of sun-exposed skin.
they were dark skinned or fair skinned, whether they lived in sun-drenched
Australia or sun-deprived Sweden, people who ate plenty of wholesome
foods such as green leafy vegetables, beans, olive oil, nuts, and
multigrain breads were less prone to wrinkling that those who consumed
a lot of butter, red meat, and sugary confections. Their research
was published in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition
is thought that antioxidant vitamins such as vitamins A, C, and
E may help protect against wrinkling. Because the skin is a major
target for oxidative stresses such as sunlight, a diet rich in fruits,
vegetables, grains, and beans
all rich sources of antioxidants
may help keep wrinkles to a minimum.
living longer and preventing heart disease are by themselves excellent
reasons to make healthy diet and lifestyle changes, the possibility
of having fewer wrinkles and feeling better should provide extra
incentive to maintain those changes.
~Contributed by Gabrielle, Wholistic Esthetician
living in Santa Fe, New Mexico
TO THE MUSIC!"
We've had so many requests from subscribers
who want to play or download our weekly
Inspiration Line tunes, that we've added...
visit to the historic center of Colonia del Sacramento, Uruguay,
is like a walk back in time. Founded in 1680 by the Portuguese,
this old colonial town is renowned for its colorful houses reminiscent
of old Lisbon. Colonia is a small town on the eastern side of Rio
de la Plata, across from Buenos Aires, Argentina. Its cobbled streets
and houses alternate with small bars, excellent restaurants, art
and craft shops, museums and a large yacht harbor. After exploring
the opulent lifestyle of colonial leaders, visit the UNESCO-Colonia
headquarters, where exhibits on the city's newly acquired Historic
Heritage of Humanity status will place you in the larger context
of South American history.
"Agree to Be Happy"
This web site is a simple summary of a book that reveals the source
of self -limiting beliefs that create needless suffering. The book
is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It provides a powerful
code of conduct (four simple rules) that transforms life into a
new experience of freedom, love and true happiness.
(Contributed by Sherry in Miami, Florida)
FOR MORE LINKS
COOL YOUR WHEELS
On a 95-degree (Fahrenheit) day, the air inside a parked vehicle
can reach 145 degrees; the steering wheel can be 159 degrees; the
car seat can reach 162 degrees; and the dashboard can be 181 degrees
to the touch, according to research conducted for auto sunshade
company Axius, a division of the Pennzoil-Quaker State Co. There's
no reason to just sit around and stew about it, though; you can
do things to relieve the heat buildup in your vehicle and reduce
fading and wear on your vehicle interior.
on the Glass: "Some
of that glass [on a vehicle] can act as a magnifier," said
Kevin Wood, an officer in the Arizona Public Department of Safety.
That's why window tinting has become increasingly popular. Depending
on the type of tint used, nearly all of the ultraviolet rays coming
through a car window and up to 65 percent of solar energy or heat
can be eliminated. Typically, the darker the windows, the more heat
and light are reduced. But remember to check with law enforcement
in your area. Some states restrict how dark a car's window film
can be, and which car windows it can be placed on. Typically, police
officers want to be able to see into a vehicle through the driver
and front-passenger windows. Some motorcyclists also strive to make
eye contact with drivers to confirm they and their bikes are in
sight and being monitored by the driver, which is another reason
to keep those front-door windows clear of dark tints.
Options: A less-expensive option for reducing heat and
sunlight inside vehicles is manual sunshades. "Use of a vehicle
sunshade can prevent heat buildup in a parked car by more than 48
degrees Fahrenheit," said Deirdre Watt, senior vice president
of Axius, which sells both window tinting and sunshades. "There's
a noticeable difference in terms of comfort, which makes the 30-second
effort it takes to put up a sunshade worthwhile." Yet, an Axius
phone survey of more than 800 vehicle owners in April 2000 showed
that while 71% knew about auto sunshades, just 22% used them regularly.
And 77% of sunshade users said they only install a sunshade if they
plan to be away from their vehicles for more than 30 minutes. Sunshades
for side and rear windows are typically circles with somewhat sheer
material that still allows some view outside.
Of course, try to find a shady spot to park the car.
The temperature differential in the shade can be well worth a few
extra steps in the parking lot. But keep in mind a parking spot
that's shaded by trees can put abrasive tree sap and bird droppings
onto your car's paint. A better shady spot, then, would be one where
a building or carport provides the shade.
Tossing a towel over the steering wheel of a parked car on
a hot summer day can buffer the wheel and keep a bit of heat from
being absorbed. A driver should never try to drive a vehicle with
a steering wheel that's too hot to handle.
Don't try to drive off if you're sitting uncomfortably on a hot
car seat, instead, get the car's interior cooled down first.
Remote car starters sold by aftermarket firms can do this by starting
your vehicle and running the air conditioner before you even get
to your vehicle. Even if you manually start your car, be smart about
dissipating that built-up heat quickly. Open the windows and sunroof
to let the hot, trapped air escape. Once you are inside a hot vehicle,
turn on the air conditioning to get air circulating and, if necessary,
direct the vents toward the steering wheel to cool it down.
Extra Attention to Kids, Pets... It always bears repeating
that the temperature extremes inside parked vehicles during summer
make cars and trucks dangerous places for youngsters and pets. The
National Safe Kids Campaign based in Washington, D.C., advises that
you never, ever leave a child in your vehicle, even with the windows
down. When the outside temperature is 83 degrees Fahrenheit, and
your window is down 2 inches, the temperature inside your car can
reach 109 degrees Fahrenheit in just 15 minutes. Obviously, the
same extreme temperature conditions inside vehicles can injure and
kill animals. The Humane Society of the United States urges you
to never leave your pet unattended inside a vehicle. And whenever
you travel with your pet, have drinking water and, preferably, ice
cubes with you so your dog or cat does not get dehydrated. The society
says ice cubes are "easier on your pet than large amounts of
water." And never have your dog ride in the back of a pickup
invented the zipper?
Laughing It Off
A SPEAKING QUIZ
get those brain cells multiplying with the following challenge.
Say the following phrases fast. Solve the puzzles by saying them
out loud, over and over, faster and faster, repeating the phrase,
until you "hear" the answer. Example: LAWN SAND
JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles. (Oh, and don't be scrolling
down to the answers till you're finished with the quiz.)
SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)
SAND TACK LAWS (fictional character)
MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)
MOW BEAD HICK (book)
TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (person)
CHICK HE TUB BAN AN US (product)
THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (thing)
AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)
TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (TV show)
CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (person)
DOCKED HEARSE WHOSE (person)
THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (place)
AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN (fictional character)
THESE HOUND DOVE MOO SICK (movie)
BUCK SPUN HE (fictional character)
answers are below. Don't look until you've completed the quiz!
2. Santa Claus
3. Michael Jordan
4. Moby Dick
5. Thomas Jefferson
6. Chiquita Banana
7. The Titanic
8. I love you
9. The Brady Bunch
10. Christopher Columbus
11. Doctor Seuss
12. The Milky Way Galaxy
13. Agent 007
14. The Sound of Music
15. Bugs Bunny
Gaiam Natural Healing & Wellness...
was created with the vision that, given a choice, people would
choose a lifestyle that is healthy and life enhancing, for themselves,
their families and the Earth. Gaiam provides alternatives to traditional
products by offering natural, eco-friendly versions that compare
with the style, quality and price of conventional products.
Windows Logo key ...
between your Ctrl and Alt keys, activates the Start menu:
1. Press the Windows key. The Start menu appears. 2. Use your
arrow keys to move up and down the menu until you've highlighted
what you want and then press Enter. If you have this key, you
can get to ANY program or recently saved document, without moving
your hands from the keyboard.
Look at THAT!
Christian Charisius /REUTERS
A 3-month old polar bear...
is accompanied by her mother 'Funny', during
her first time outside at the Hagenbeck Zoo in Hamburg, Germany.
'Victoria' was born at the private Zoo built by Carl Hagenbeck.
In 1902, Hagenbeck revolutionized zoo exhibitry by creating Tierpark
with barless, moated exhibits. His innovative style also displayed
animals in naturally occurring social groups rather than more typical
collections of one or two animals. ~REUTERS
Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
"YOUTH IS NOT A TIME OF LIFE..."
grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting
our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm
wrinkles the soul."
The poem "Youth" written by Samuel Ullman of Birmingham,
Alabama, at the age of 70-plus, is credited with inspiring a generation
of Japanese citizens who were faced with rebuilding their country
after World War II. Ullman died in 1924 at the age of 84 never
knowing that his poetic essay would be quoted by politicians and
generals, appear in Dear Abby and Ann Landers columns, and be
read and loved by people all across the world.
is not a time of life
it is a state of mind; It is a temper of the will, a quality of
the imagination, a vigor of the emotions, a predominance of courage
over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over love of ease.
Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years; people grow
old only by deserting their ideals.
wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair -- these are the
long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit
back to dust.
seventy or sixteen, there is in every beings' heart, the love
of wonder, the sweet amazement at stars and the starlike things
and thoughts, the undaunted challenge of events the unfailing
childlike appetite for what next, and the joy and the game of
life. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as
young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as
your hope, as old as your despair.
long as your heart receives messages of beauty, cheer, courage,
grandeur and power from the earth, from man and from the Infinite,
so long you are young. When the wires are all down and all the
central place of your heart is covered with snows of pessimism
and the ice of cynicism, then you are grown old indeed and may
God have mercy on your soul."
encourage you to read more at Alabama
Moments about Samuel Ullman, a man who fearlessly,
and without fear of consequences, advocated progressive actions
in an era when that was neither fashionable nor popular.
Chelle Thompson ~
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intent of Inspiration Line is to
show What Is Possible … By choosing new perspectives,
we can change ourselves from the inside out and improve our relationships,
our community and our planet."
Editor . Chelle Thompson ~~~ Associate Editor . Geri Merrill
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