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"The greatest revolution of our generation is
the discovery that human beings, by changing
the inner attitudes of their minds, can
change the outer aspects of their lives."
~ William James, American Psychologist (1842-1910)
March 1, 2004
"Big Yellow Taxi"
THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
From the Inside Out...
The Gabby Cabby
Yes You Can!...
Nurture with Music
Great Sandy Desert
Links That Shine...
A Shining Example
Laughing It Off...
Online Too Much?
Untangling the Web...
What a Site!
Look at That!...
Monthly Facts & Fiction
Clarity in Family Dynamics
BE the World
You Want to See!
our hearts is the single most important gift
we can give ourselves
and the world.
~ Chelle ~
From the Inside Out
THE GABBY CABBY
I was driving in my car and suddenly on Public Radio a wonderful
interview came up. A journalist was interviewing a man who calls
himself "The Gabby Cabby."
is his story as I remember it:
Peter Franklin is a cab driver in New York City. As a result of
some magic in his life and his own inspiration, he started a corporation
and a web site called Gabby
He decided that no one in the world was better suited to tell you
about New York City than a cab driver who drives it all day. He
looked at himself in the mirror of life and decided that he was
So, he and his wife took some time and they approached every radio
station in the world, which meant over 40,000. The ball started
rolling and before he knew it, he was being called for interviews.
he started talking about living in New York, he has had over 40,000
appearances on the radio. He has been interviewed around the world,
both on the radio and on audio on the web.
At first, he was self-conscious. He talked about events that had
happened in the city and the people who came into his cab, but not
about himself. He was almost a little afraid to be personal
even had fantasies that he would be stalked.
over the years he realized that people loved to know a little about
him. It made him human and very real to them. So, he began to share
more about his son, who had just graduated from West Point and his
daughter who was living in Ireland.
he still is out there talking about his city, his world and himself.
He feels that he has helped people around the world better understand
New York City. He is determined to continue, as this is his passion
and his message to the world.
I think that he is a wonderful example of somebody deciding that
indeed they have a role to play beyond earning a living, beyond
all the standard roles of being a wife, husband, neighbor, etc.
of himself, he realized that there was a special spark a
gift he had to offer the world. He wasn't just a cab driver
he was an ambassador of a great city. He had a mission and no one
else in the world could do it exactly as he could.
Becoming an Enchantress or Enchanter is all about deciding what
roles you have to play in life that are exquisitely suitable just
to you. In fact, no one else can do them as you can. Then you can
begin to cast your spells of Enchantment, as the Gabby Cabby did.
an Enchantress or Enchanter you combine inspiration with mental
perspiration in exactly the right balance to move forward.
what the Gabby Cabby was willing to do. I admire him and I admire
each and every one of you with the persistence and courage to cast
your positive spells upon the world!
Barbara Becker Holstein
Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach
Author of The
Enchanted Self: A Positive Therapy and
for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is You!
Dr. Holstein''s website: www.EnchantedSelf.com
and e-group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join
Yes You Can!
NURTURE WITH MUSIC
Rauscher, PhD, a psychologist with the University of Wisconsin,
and her colleagues have found that there is a positive effect on
children's spatial-temporal (puzzle-solving) and math skills when
those as young as 3-years-old are given formal musical instruction
when they actively study and play music, not merely listen
to it. According to Norman Weinberger, PhD, a professor of neurobiology
and behavior at the University of California in Irvine, "Music
learning and practice benefit many mental and behavioral processes,
including cognitive development, language learning, reading ability,
creativity, motor skills, and social adjustment."
to your child is so important," says Sandra E. Trehub, PhD,
professor of psychology at the University of Toronto. "In contrast
to recordings that sound exactly the same at every hearing, a mother
fine-tunes her voice to her baby's needs. When her baby is cheerful,
she sings in an upbeat voice. When she is fretful, Mom sings in
a soothing manner. Since babies can't really regulate their own
moods in the early months of life, a mother's singing plays a vital
who has studied cultures around the world and found music to be
an integral part of every one of them, notes that singing to your
baby also reinforces bonds between you. "The natural pleasure
Mom gets from singing to her baby is amplified by her enjoyment.
For the baby, those songs and the way they're sung become associated
with pleasure, enjoyment, a sense of security, and good things in
agrees that having fun with your baby is one of music's greatest
perks. But equally important, she suggests, is its role as a cultural
guidepost for children. Songs, both heard and sung, are a classic
way for kids to learn about language, customs, and the larger world
as a whole. Indeed, Weinberger has observed that many babies begin
singing around the same time they start using language, and first
words are often part of familiar songs.
before literacy was widespread, crucial cultural information
how to plant crops, the location of tribal boundaries was
embedded in songs so it could be transmitted from one generation
to the next," says Trehub. "Babies
today learn animal names and sounds, counting, colors, stories,
and, of course, the alphabet from the songs they hear and sing."
My own children have picked up Spanish (their father's native language)
to your kids is just as important as reading to them," says
Tom Chapin, a children's recording artist. "Even books don't
give the same kind of quality, one-on-one interaction as singing
because words only convey meaning, whereas music conveys emotion."
So, by all means, keep playing those CDs. And sing to your child.
Dance with him/her. Make up silly rhymes and songs. Take them to
music class if you like, or simply pull out the pots and pans and
make noise. Incorporate music into your everyday life as often as
you can. Not because it will make your child a brilliant mathematician,
but because it's another enjoyable experience that nurtures them
and your relationship with them.
~Heather Moors Johnson, Family.MSN.com
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GREAT SANDY DESERT
to its name, western portions of the Great Sandy Desert in Australia
are almost devoid of sand. Its surface, however, is richly textured
by complex geological formations as seen in this NASA photo taken
from space by the U. S. Geological Surveys Landsat-7 satellite.
The Aboriginal name for this area is the "Tanami," named
by explorer Allan Davidson on his geological expedition in 1900.
This vast region is sparsely populated, without significant settlements.
Only on the coast are there isolated sheep stations. But it's the
desert's unearthly stillness and emptiness that make the interior
such an unforgettable experience.
"Web Wise Sage"
Still trying to figure out how to do things you've seen on other
websites? This extremely conscious site specializes in website
add-ons such as: Automatic Newsletter Generation, Automatic Link
Page Generation, Events Calendar, Surveying Polls, Article Submission,
Tell A Friend, Exit Popups, Affiliate Programs, Greeting Cards.
Laughing It Off
YOU'RE ONLINE TOO MUCH IF...
Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL"
right out loud.
You find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile.
You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.
You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.
You stop speaking in full sentences.
When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "yelling"
When at work, your boss constantly reminds you that the word "i"
should be capitalized.
Your spouse now complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep
instead of talking.
You stop typing whole words and use things like prolly, dunno,wanna,
lemme, brb, ttyl and 'k'.
You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete
You dream in "text".
You change your screen names so much that you have to look at your
own profile to see who you are.
You double click your TV remote.
You type messages to people while you are on the phone with
them at the same time.
When someone asks, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll
up scroll up!"
You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close
to your own.
You can type faster than you can think.
Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
by Jane at www.online-TheCatsMeow.com
Untangling the Web
WHAT A SITE!
"The Secret Lives of Numbers"
Pick a number between 1 and 100,000.
Why did you pick it? What does it mean to you? What does it mean
to others? This Java application collects data from certain popular
search engines and derives an idea of
which numbers are popular or often used.
Running Disk Defragmenter....
enables your computer to run at top speed by putting all like files
and applications into contiguous groups. 1. Go to Start, point to
Programs, point to Accessories, point to System Tools, and then
select Disk Defragmenter. 2. Click the Settings tab, select the
check boxes you want (to ensure fastest startup of programs, select
the first box), and then select OK. 3. Click the drive you want
to defragment, select OK, and then select Yes. It's best to shut
down all other applications before you run Disk Defragmenter.
Look at THAT!
A Friesian cow, named "Paula"
took a detour from a wedding and wandered into a German
bank where she was caught on security cameras sidling up to the
cow entered, made an elegant turn and walked right back out,"
said a spokeswoman for Sparkasse Savings Bank in
Wunstorf, a small rural town in northern Germany.
"Paula" was supposed to be taking part in a nearby wedding
ceremony, but strayed into the bank. When farmers in this region
marry, the new bride traditionally milks a cow to prove her skills
in the homestead economy. ~Reuters
MONTHLY FACTS & FICTION
Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
CLARITY IN FAMILY DYNAMICS (Part 4)
explained by therapist Robert
Burney, M.A. in his book Codependence: The Dance
of Wounded Souls, there are four basic roles that children
adopt in order to survive while growing up in emotionally dishonest,
shame-based, dysfunctional family systems. Some children maintain
one role into adulthood, while others switch from one role to
another as the family dynamic changes (i.e. when the oldest leaves
home, etc.). These roles are:
Child or Family Hero -
This is the child who is 9 going on 40 who takes over
the parent role at a very young age, becoming very respon-sible
and self-sufficient. They give the family self-worth because they
look good on the outside. They are the good students, the sports
stars, the prom queens. The parents look to this child to prove
that they are good parents and good people. As an adult, the Family
Hero is rigid, controlling, and extremely judgmental of others
and secretly of themselves. They achieve success on
the outside and get lots of positive attention but are cut off
from their inner emotional life, from their True Self. They are
compulsive and driven as adults because inside they feel inadequate
out child or Scapegoat -
This is the child that the family feels ashamed of, yet the most
emotionally honest child in the family. He/she acts out the tension
and anger the family ignores. This child provides distraction
from the real issues in the family. The scapegoat usually has
trouble in school because they get attention the only way they
know how -
which is negatively. They often become pregnant or addicted as
teenagers. These children are usually the most sensitive and caring
which is why they feel such tremendous hurt. They are romantics
who become very cynical and distrustful. They have a lot of self-hatred
and can be very self-destructive.
Placater or Mascot -
child takes responsibility for the emotional well-being of the
family. They become the family's social director and
clown, diverting attention away from the pain and anger. This
child becomes an adult who is valued for their kind heart, generosity,
and ability to listen to others. Their whole self-definition is
centered on others and they dont know how to get their own
needs met. They become adults who cannot receive love, only give
it. They often get involved in abusive relationships in an attempt
to save the other person. They go into the helping
professions and become nurses, and social workers, and therapists.
They have very low self-worth and feel a lot of guilt.
or Lost Child This
child escapes by attempting to be invisible. They daydream, fantasize,
read lots of books or watch a lot of TV. They deal with reality
by withdrawing from it. They deny that they have any feelings
and dont bother getting upset. These children
grow up to be adults who find themselves unable to feel, and suffer
very low self-esteem. They are terrified of intimacy and often
have relationship phobia. They are very withdrawn and shy and
become socially isolated because that is the only way they know
to be safe from being hurt. A lot of actors and writers are lost
children who have found a way to express emotions while
hiding behind their characters.
are, of course, born with a certain personality. What happens
with the roles we adapt in our family dynamic is that we get a
twisted, distorted view of who we are as a result of our personality
melding with the roles. This is dysfunctional because it causes
us to not be able to see ourselves clearly. The false self that
we develop to survive is never totally false -
there is always some Truth in it. For example, people who go into
the helping professions do truly care and are not doing what they
do simply out of Codependence. Recovery is about getting honest
with ourselves and finding some balance in our life."
our upcoming final part, we'll learn what a HEALTHY family
looks like ...)
~ Chelle Thompson, Editor ~
"The intent of Inspiration Line is to
show What Is Possible . By choosing new perspectives,
we can change ourselves from the inside out to improve our relationships,
our community and our planet."
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