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you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to
your own estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at any moment."
From the Inside Out...
Getting along with
a Vacation (2)
What a Site!
BE the World
You Want to See!
my own life I've practiced stepping back a bit, emotionally,
from difficult situations so that I could regain clarity
of perspective. It's quite a miraculous feeling to recognize
that we don't have to be victims of circumstance because
the very freedom we seek is within each of us.
From the Inside Out
GETTING ALONG WITH
There was a time in my life when if someone asked, "Are you
angry with me?" I replied, "No-o-o-o." They knew
it wasn't true, I knew it wasn't true, and the matter stayed unresolved.
Because I didn't like taking issue with a difficult situation involving
a difficult person, we both missed an opportunity to grow together
through the experience.
reluctance to deal with difficult people, and/or difficult situations,
results in our staying stuck. What we resist we get to keep! That's
how it works. Companies dissolve because management forgets to communicate
with the hourly paid workers. Couples separate because they lack
communication skills, or the willingness to work their way through
a painful crisis. Why not take a deep breath and get the situation
resolved right now?.
we are dealing with problem people it's hard to look at them, the
loathsome ones, and say in our minds all the good things we are
supposed to say. We are advised to forgive when it's so much easier
to bear a grudge. If we forgave, we would have to give up the feeling
of being a victim. We would have to give up our favorite stories.
It would be hard to do. We've worked on them a long time, perfecting
them, getting the sequence of events in the right order, omitting
can we do about a difficult people? We can't change them. Can we
talk to them? "But they have been hateful to me. Why can't
I change them?" "Because, my dear, the only person you
can change is yourself." "Can we talk to them?" "Yes,
we can." However, we must not blame them, or become angered
by their resistance. Each one of us deals with our own reality.
We cannot force another person to communicate with us if they are
determined not to do so. We cannot reach another person if they
are determined to remain unreachable. It just means they want to
stay in their playpen for now. They have a right to do that if they
of us have been in situations where we had to deal with problem
people every day. We wished we had a genie in a bottle who would
help us escape, or make them disappear! What can we do about the
difficult people in our lives? We can work out a plan of action
and maintain a calm attitude; or wallow in our self pity and sink
deeper and deeper into it. Just as the song says, "I never
promised you a rose garden," well, life isn't
all roses, in fact, when we have problem people or situations in
our lives, life can seem really awful.
we are faced with a situation that we would like to run away from,
we tend to make poor decisions. When we are faced with a difficult
person or problem, it is important that the decisions we make and
actions we take must not be out of panic and anger, but out of quietness
and an inward look for divine guidance.
tend to become consumed by our problems. We dwell on the ugliness
of the person who is giving us so much trouble, and lose sight of
the fact that every problem person provides us with an opportunity
to practice what we preach. There is a solution to every difficult
situation. We forget that this too shall pass.
cannot keep running from the people who are like a scratchy label
on a new garment, and we can be sure that the universe will always
provide us with more and more of their clones, until we learn to
solve the problem of getting along with difficult people.
if this is a life pattern for us, we can ask ourselves why we keep
attracting this type of person, or this kind of situation into our
experience. At one time that kind of statement used to drive me
crazy. When I heard it I would say to myself, "I don't want
awful people in my life; I don't like being in difficult situations.
It's absolutely untrue that I attracted them!" Later I learned
that when I saw them as an opportunity for self-understanding, my
attitude toward them changed. They either became my friends or went
out of my life. The situations became less frequent, or much improved.
The others really hadn't changed that much. I had simply changed
my place in consciousness. I didn't have to take a ship to Australia,
or move to Alaska. All I had to do was to change my attitude.
we use universal principles in solving a problem, it is solved in
the most wonderful way. Divine Mind, God, has this loving way which
allows us to grow through everyday situations, and to experience
joy when we finally understand that it was all a cosmic puzzle for
us to solve.
This article is excerpted from "Getting It Right This Time"
Dr. Delia Sellers, editor of "Abundant Living," a monthly
dedicated to enlightenment and spiritual growth. Visit her website:
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SEE THE WARNING SIGNS
We know that what we eat affects how we feel, but we often ignore
how our diets affect typical problems, such as dry or brittle hair,
chipped nails, or bloodshot eyes. Did you know that dry skin might
easily be remedied with a handful of nuts? Or that shiny hair is
as much a sign of your diet as your shampoo? Consequently, the symptoms
of a marginal diet go unnoticed or are thought to be "all in
the mind." The following warning signs of a bad diet will help
you assess your dietary intake and decide what, if anything, needs
Around a Bad-Hair Day The
signs: dry, lackluster hair
What's missing: protein, folic acid, the vitamins B-6 and
B-12, iron, vitamin C, and water
going on: These nutrients help build a healthy blood supply,
which carries oxygen to the hair and scalp and removes waste products.
Poor intake results in a reduction of the number of red blood cells,
which literally suffocates the hair and scalp. Vitamin C aids hair
growth; poor intake results in hair that tangles or breaks easily.
you can do: Pack a spinach, Caesar, or lentil salad in your
picnic basket or brown-bag lunch for iron and folic acid; a piece
of fruit for vitamin C; and a roast-beef sandwich or a piece of
cold chicken to boost iron, protein, and the vitamins B-6 and B-12.
Drink at least eight glasses of water on warm summer days
even more if you exercise regularly.
Healthy Nails Again The
signs: slow growing, chipped nails.
What's missing: protein; vitamins E, K and C; iron; selenium;
What's going on: Nail growth and proper circulation to the
nail bed require ample amounts of these nutrients.
What you can do: Use whole-grain breads for summer sandwiches;
munch on at least five fruits and vegetables each day; and include
several servings daily of the iron-rich foods mentioned above.
Your Skin From Within The
signs: dull, dry skin
What's missing: protein, folic acid and other B vitamins,
copper, iron, water
going on: The skin relies on the bloodstream to supply oxygen
and nutrients and to remove the waste products of cellular metabolism.
An inadequate supply of one or more of these nutrients cuts off
the skin's nutrient supply, while allowing toxic waste products
you can do: Remember your whole-grain breads and cereals; fruits
and vegetables; iron-rich foods; and water. Drink extra water if
you're quenching your thirst with iced tea or coffee, since these
beverages act as diuretics.
Skin Aging The
signs: sun-damage, sagging skin, easy bruising
What's missing: antioxidants: vitamins C and E,
beta carotene, selenium
What's going on: These nutrients slow the rate of sun-induced
aging of the skin by blocking free-radical damage generated by summer
sunlight. Vitamin C also is essential for collagen formation, the
"glue" that holds the body's cells together. Poor collagen
formation results in frequent bruising, loss of skin elasticity,
delayed wound healing, and reduced production of the skin's lubricating
What you can do: Include orange juice or cantaloupe at breakfast
and two other vitamin C-rich snacks during the day, such as kiwi,
broccoli, or strawberries. For beta carotene, mix spinach into your
scrambled eggs or snack on baby carrots. To obtain the 100 IU of
vitamin E, take a supplement.
and Soft Again The
signs: flaky, itchy, or rough skin
missing: linoleic acid
What's going on: Linoleic acid is an essential oil that helps
maintain smooth, moist skin; poor intake causes dry, scaly skin.
What you can do: Add a tablespoon of linoleic acid-rich foods,
such as safflower oil, nuts and seeds, to the daily diet.
to Have Bright Eyes?
The signs: vision loss caused by cataracts or macular degeneration
What's missing: the antioxidants: vitamins C and
E, beta carotene
What's going on: The eye's lens is bombarded by free radicals
from sunlight. A diet rich in antioxidant nutrients protects against
the formation and progression of age-related vision loss by counteracting
the damaging effects of free radicals.
What you can do: At least three servings or more daily of
vitamin C-rich foods, such as citrus fruits, Brussels sprouts and
cabbage, is all it takes to protect your eyes.
Somer is a registered dietitian and author of
& Mood and
The Essential Guide to Vitamins & Minerals
ROYAL CHITWAN PARK
At the foot of the Himalayas, Royal Chitwan National Park is one
of the few undisturbed vestiges of the Terai region in the southern
part of Nepal. Don't miss a chance to see endangered wildlife like
the Royal Bengal Tiger and the single-horned Asiatic rhinoceros.
Many rare species such as tree fern and several rare orchids and
other endangered mammals such as wild elephant, gaur, striped hyena,
sloth bear and Gangetic dolphin occur here. You can take a jungle
walk, a Jeep drive or travel by elephant. On elephant back you'll
feel like a maharaja of olden times on jungle safari and there are
more chances to see the rhinos and other animals which are hidden
behind the tall grasses.
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HOW TO CHOOSE A VACATION (Part
Here's part two of our list of 10 criteria for choosing a vacation.
Choose the ones most important to you or a mix of all of them.
Fascinating sightseeing, both day and evening. Surveys show
that we prefer and take shorter, more frequent vacations. That means
we want every minute to count. Whether playing tennis at midnight
or sitting in a smoky cabaret, it's important that the facilities
be open. For
round-the-clock activity, few U.S. destinations beat San Antonio,
home to the Alamo, the Riverwalk, and one of the nations great
Cinco de Mayo celebrations. After their visit, your kids might think
that Sam Houston was the first president of the United States but
at least they'll learn some Mexican-American history.
Opportunity for unusual cultural/adventure experiences. If the
purpose of travel is to momentarily peek into the culture of others,
you must check out the travel services that cater to "agenda"
travelers. Anything from volunteer work to mountain climbing to
learning a language abroad is available. Perhaps, for example, you'd
like to experience Russia. For a first visit, you're better off
with a semi-escorted trip to Moscow and St. Petersburg. Most leave
every Wednesday and return a week later, at moderate prices. A very
different peek into the hearts and minds of a people can be found
in the Waterfowl Festival in Easton, Md. The signposts are in the
shape of carved ducks. Art exhibits, carvings, bird-call contests
and more honor the miracle of migration, a natural ritual just as
much a part of the fall as the changing of the leaves.
Good for both escorted and independent touring. As much as your
choice in lodgings, the degree to which you are helped with travel
plans -- before and during the trip are a matter of preference.
Getting on and off a bus at the pace of a group can be deadly if
you want to take your time. A
popular compromise is an independently booked flight, a rental car
and a few local sightseeing excursions with a tour guide. However,
some areas that attract knowledgeable older travelers offer wonderful
escorted itineraries that give you an independent feeling.
group tours may especially make sense. Horticulturists will thrill
at Nemours, near Wilmington, Del. A chateau there was built in 1910
by Alfred DuPont and named for his great-grandfather, a prominent
economist and political figure during the reign of Louis XVI. (He
was also an early promoter of Frances selling Louisiana to
the United States.) Soon after the DuPont family fled to America
in 1800, they became its richest immigrants. Alfred patterned Nemours
after Versailles, with 102 rooms and the full board of carved ceilings,
inlaid floors and priceless antiques. The mansion is on the grounds
of the Alfred I. DuPont Hospital for Children.
Things to do and see that are free. On vacation, once transportation
and hotels are paid for, you may not have much money left. That
shouldnt stop you. Museum passes, long walks and the surprise
festival are the experiences that make the vacation. For Americans,
the sights you get on the open road have always been a lure. Consider
parks like Shenandoah National Park in Virginia and Great Smoky
Mountains National Park in North Carolina and Tennessee. Joining
the two is the famed Blue Ridge Parkway. Or, of course, there are
also such natural masterpieces as Yosemite in California Yellowstone
in Wyoming, Grand Canyon in Arizona, or Olympic National Park in
Washington state. Many national parks and monuments are free. Some
like Yellowstone and Yosemite have fees. Perhaps the world champion
of free sightseeing is our nation's capital. Even if youve
been there before, start with the mall area. Surrounding it are
the Smithsonian Institution, the National Gallery of Art and many
other world-class museums. It's easy to spend a month here for next
to nothing in sightseeing costs.
Other interesting areas within an hour's drive. Oddly enough,
even the most sedentary of us tend to get restless on vacation.
A great experience can be to settle into a place, then leave it
for a riveting few hours a vacation from the vacation. Cape
Cod, Mass., is 70 miles long with dunes, white beaches and art colonies.
Its summer cuisine, casual chic and families with sand pails define
a summer decompression chamber. Meanwhile, the very scenic Mt. Hood
National Forest in northern Oregon is just a few hours' ride from
Portland. For a bit more drama, the Mt. St. Helens National Volcanic
Monument is a day-trip away from the population centers of Seattle
and Portland, Ore.
makes e-mails bounce?
Laughing It Off
WHEN I'M AN OLD LADY
I'm an old lady, I'll live with my kids,
and make them so happy, just as they did.
want to pay back all the joy they've provided,
returning each deed. Oh, they'll be so excited.
write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
and bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.
drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets, and oh, how they'll shout.
they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach,
they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
and when that is done I'll hide under the bed.
they cook dinner and call me to meals,
I'll not eat my green beans or salads congealed.
gag on my okra, spill milk on the table
and when they get angry, run fast as I'm able.
sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both my eyes to see if they stick.
take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud until the end of the day.
later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
and thank God in prayer and then close my eyes
my kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
and say with a groan. "She's so sweet when she's sleeping."
By Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, Ohio ©April 1991
Look on the bright side of getting older in this amusing book:
1,003 Great Things About Getting Older
Online guide to offbeat attractions ...
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Look at THAT!
SERVING UP BLOSSOMS
Joerg Koch /AFP
A woman protects herself from the sun ...
with a colorful umbrella as she walks past a giant fork and
knife in a field of yellow rapeseed at the Adlersberg monastery
near Regensburg, Germany. The oversized flatware was erected in
a field of brilliant yellow for a Rapeseed Blossom Festival.
Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
IRRATIONAL THINKING (Part
week we discussed the pitfalls of using absolutes to describe
the events in our lives. If we awfulize or catastrophize the small
stuff, what happens to us in an actual crisis? If we cry wolf
over every disappointment and dont flex our inner strengths
to resolve temporary setbacks, what are we stockpiling for a rainy
most of us would have a proactive attitude about basic survival
in a life-threatening emergency, we seem to be much more passive
about happiness. Personally, my goal is to get to a point where
my happiness instinct is as strong and natural as my survival
instinct. For as we have learned, our decision to be happy is
actually our decision to STOP BEING UNHAPPY. In other words: Work
like you dont need the money; Dance like no ones watching;
And love like youve never been hurt.
If we are to lessen our strong emotional upsets, well need
to stop demanding and cant-standing, complaining and blaming.
Instead well need to look at negative situations in a more
rational, realistic way ... by creating PERCEPTUAL ALTERNATIVES.
We can re-think our demands and see desires as strong preferences,
not must haves.
* We need to convince ourselves that we CAN stand it when our
wishes are violated.
* We can recognize that our catastrophes are, in fact,
just disappointments. Its not awful when life throws us
a curve, its just unfortunate and perhaps inconvenient.
* We need to accept ourselves and others as worthwhile and learn
to rate behavior, not personal worth. Remember that it is OUR
unhealed wounds that make it difficult to see life clearly. As
the writer, Anais Nin writes, We dont see things as
they are. We see things as WE are. Intellectual and emotional
myopia, or our inability to see beyond ourselves, is part of the
human condition. We live inside our own head, and our perceptions
are skewed by the limitations of our personal experiences. If
we were totally evolved, we would be capable of seeing through
the eyes of others, rather than seeing solely through our own.
(Continued Next Week.)
thoughts stem from our demands, shoulds and musts. Demands we
place on ourselves, others or life itself are the root of our
irrational beliefs. Following are some demands people commonly
make. Lets call them The Dirty Dozen. On a scale
from 1-5, rate how these beliefs apply to you 1. Very Seldom;
2. Seldom; 3. Sometimes; 4. Often; 5. Very often:
I must be perfect and never make a mistake.
2. I should always be in control.
3. I must succeed; I cant stand failure.
4. I should please and gain approval.
5. I just cant handle losing; losing is awful.
6. Life must be fair.
7. People should give me my own way.
8. I must be right.
9. Life should be easy.
10. Others should appreciate the things I do for them.
11. Some people are inferior: THEY should keep their
12. I am a victim of my past or present circumstances.
~ Chelle Thompson ~
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intent of Inspiration Line is to show What
Is Possible … By choosing new perspectives,
we can change ourselves from the inside out and improve our relationships,
our community and our planet."
Editor . Chelle Thompson ~~~ Associate Editor . Geri Merrill
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