Connecting 50 U.S. States & 127 Countries Worldwide
progress can be made by merely attempting
to repress what is evil; our great hope lies
in developing what is good."
~ Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States (1923-1929).
April 26, 2004
"I Want It That Way!"
THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
From the Inside Out...
Behaviour in Bullies
Yes You Can!...
San Miniato al Monte
Links That Shine...
on the Barbie?
Laughing It Off...
A Cat's Guide
Untangling the Web...
What a Site!
Look at That!...
Our Latest Discovery...
Creating a New Future (2)
Monthly Facts & Fiction
BE the World
You Want to See!
is a great vehicle for understanding why people
behave the way they do.
More important, it creates
the clarity we all need to
take appropriate action
and to recognize that,
in most cases,
WE ARE NOT THE CAUSE
of their behavior.
~ Chelle ~
From the Inside Out
ATTENTION-SEEKING BEHAVIOUR IN BULLIES
and emotionally immature people often exhibit bullying behaviours,
especially manipulation and deception. These are necessary in order
to obtain attention which would not otherwise be forthcoming. Bullies
and harassers have the emotional age of a young child and will exhibit
temper tantrums, deceit, lying and manipulation to avoid exposure
of their true nature and to evade accountability and sanction. Being
the centre of attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy,
but the relief is temporary as the underlying problem remains unaddressed:
low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and consequent low levels
of self-worth and self love. Attention-seeking is particularly noticeable
with females, so I've used the pronoun "she." Males, of
course, also exhibit this form of personality disorder.
Sufferer: This might include feigning or exaggerating illness,
playing on an injury, or perhaps causing or inviting injury. The
illness or injury becomes a vehicle for gaining sympathy and thus
attention. The attention-seeker excels in manipulating people through
their emotions, especially that of guilt. It's very difficult not
to feel sorry for someone who relates a plausible tale of suffering
in a sob story or "poor me" drama.
Rescuer: Particularly common in family situations, she's the
one who will dash in and "rescue" people whenever the
moment is opportune
to herself, that is. She then gains gratification from basking in
the glory of her humanitarian actions. The act of rescue and thus
the opportunities for gaining attention can be enhanced if others
are excluded from the act of rescue; this helps create a dependency
relationship between the rescuer and rescued which can be exploited
for further acts of rescue (and attention) later. When not in rescue
mode, the rescuer may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of
the person she is rescuing.
Organizer: She may present herself as the one in charge, the
one organizing everything, the one who is reliable and dependable,
the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not
to help people (this is only a means to an end) but to always be
the centre of attention.
Manipulator: She may exploit family relationships, manipulating
others with guilt and distorting perceptions; although she may not
harm people physically, she causes everyone to suffer emotional
injury. Vulnerable family members are favourite targets. A common
attention-seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimized,
excluded, isolated or ignored by another family member or group,
perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or
Drama Queen: Every incident or opportunity, no matter how insignificant,
is exploited, exaggerated and if necessary distorted to become an
event of dramatic proportions. Everything is elevated to crisis
proportions. Histrionics may be present where the person feels she
is not the centre of attention but should be. Inappropriate flirtatious
behaviour may also be present.
Busy Bee: This individual is the busiest person in the world
if her constant retelling of her life is to be believed. Everyday
events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic
proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and
commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to
herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy,
though, to tell you how busy she is.
Feigner: When called to account and outwitted, the person instinctively
uses the denial
feigning victimhood strategy to manipulate everyone present, especially
bystanders and those in authority. The most effective method of
feigning victimhood is to burst into tears, for most people's instinct
is to feel sorry for them, to put their arm round them or offer
them a tissue. Feigning victimhood is a favourite tactic of bullies
and harassers to evade accountability and sanction. When accused
of bullying and harassment, the person immediately turns on the
water works and claims they are the one being bullied or harassed
even though there's been no prior mention of being bullied or harassed.
It's the fact that this claim appears only after and in response
to having been called to account that is revealing. Mature adults
do not burst into tears when held accountable for their actions.
False Confessor: This person confesses to crimes they haven't
committed in order to gain attention from the police and the media.
In some cases people have confessed to being serial killers, even
though they cannot provide any substantive evidence of their crimes.
Often they will confess to crimes which have just been reported
in the media.
Online Victim: This person uses Internet chat rooms and forums
to allege that they've been the victim of rape, violence, harassment,
abuse etc. The alleged crime is never reported to the authorities,
for obvious reasons. The facelessness and anonymity of the Internet
suits this type of attention seeker. [More]
Victim: She may intentionally create acts of harassment against
herself, e.g. send herself hate mail or damage her own possessions
in an attempt to incriminate a fellow employee, a family member,
neighbor, etc. Scheming, cunning, devious, deceptive and manipulative,
she will identify her "harasser" and produce circumstantial
evidence in support of her claim. She will revel in the attention
she gains and use her glib charm to plausibly dismiss any suggestion
that she herself may be responsible. However, a background check
may reveal that this is not the first time she has had this happen
Serial Bully: In many cases the attention-seeker is a serial
bully as explained in Bullying
in the Family.
~ Excerpted from Attention
Seeking Personality Disorders
By Tim Field at www.BullyOnline.org
Visit This Website Also: www.NoBullyForMe.org
Yes You Can!
ENJOY HOUSEWORK-OUTS &
"HOUSEWORK-OUT" can clean up your act in more ways
than one. With a little advance planning, household tasks provide
a surprisingly effective aerobic workout. Tackle that closet you've
been meaning to clean out, or take the offensive against a scummy
sink. Vacuuming, scrubbing and picking up items off the floor all
can be healthful exercise, as long as you keep consistently on the
housework does not have to be a boring task that you perform only
because you want a clean home. Housework can be fun and healthy!
Instead of thinking of cleaning as a chore, think of it as a form
of exercise. Your body moves quite a bit while cleaning, so it really
is exercise! Make it fun by playing some of your favorite music
and dancing around while cleaning.
too, that a
10-minute walk in Nature
can give you as much energy as a cup of coffee. Of course you want
to see results, and you want to see them fast, but the key to making
your leisurely stroll really work for you is to build up slowly.
Start by doing two brisk ten-minute walks, five days a week. After
a couple of weeks, increase it to two fifteen-minute walks, five
days a week. Gradually extend the length of your walks until you
can comfortably do two thirty to forty minute walks, five days per
week. For optimum fat-burning effect, aim to walk briskly enough
to feel as if you're making a real effort, but slow enough so that
you're not gasping too much to hold a conversation!
an all-important Stress-Buster, give yourself some quiet time.
Schedule inviolate periods of time into your workday for tasks that
are pleasurable, even if not terribly productive. Try to do this
even when you feel rushed. Take advantage of breaks and lunches
to do things that will reverse the stress response. For example,
go to a quiet place and do a relaxation exercise.
simple morning stretch routine can actually make your skin more
radiant. It also has added benefits for anyone whose joints and
muscles tend to be at their stiffest first thing in the morning.
Follow these six easy steps to a glowing skin and to help loosen
up aching joints and promote mobility:
Roll up a small towel. Grasp an end in each hand. Stretch your arms
out in front of you.
2. Breathe in as you raise the towel above your head. Keep
your arms straight and the towel stretched.
3. Breathe out as you lower the towel over the back of your
head to shoulder level.
4. Breathe in again as you bring the towel back up above
5. Breathe out as you return the towel to the starting position
at the front of your body.
6. Repeat the action up to five times.
are a few stretches you can try anytime of day whenever you
need a quick dose of re-energizing. They are adapted from yoga expert
and relaxation consultant Darrin Zeer's Office
Yoga: Simple Stretches for Busy People and Office
Spa: Stress Relief for the Working Week. Most of
these can be done while you're working when you restart your
computer after it freezes, in between phone calls, or while you're
waiting for a fax to go through so it doesn't mean squeezing
another "to do" into your already-hectic schedule:
Kick-back Log-on Pose: While sitting at your desk, interlace
your fingers behind your head. Relax your elbows and shoulders.
Breathe and stretch your elbows back.
2. Keyboard Calisthenics: Place hands in prayer position,
move fingers in all directions and stretch. Squeeze fists tight.
Then, stretch your fingers wide. Interlace your fingers and rotate
3. Neck Rolls: Drop your head to one side. Roll it around
in a wide circle, and then switch directions.
4. Chair Stretches: While sitting, interlace your fingers
below your knee. Bend your leg up, and then stretch your forehead
to your knee. Switch legs. Another stretch for your chair: Cross
your left leg over your right. Place your right hand or elbow on
the crossed knee. Gently turn your body to the left and look behind
you. Switch legs, and twist the other way.
5. Lower Back Bend: Grab the edge of your desk or counter,
and step back a couple of feet. Spread your feet shoulder-width
apart. Let your upper body stretch down, relaxing your head and
throughout the workday is also something that Zeer finds important.
"With all of the stress, we are literally holding our breath
all day," he explains. "By taking a long, deep breath,
you'll instantly relax your body and de-stress your mind. You can't
& Recreation MSN.com
You Find Value in Inspiration Line?
SAN MINIATO AL MONTE
High atop a hill, its gleaming white-and-green facade visible from
the valley below, San Miniato is one of the few ancient churches
of Florence, Italy, to survive the centuries virtually intact and
the most famous zodiac
church in Europe. It was constructed sometime after the
year 1000 on top of a pre-existent Oratory that had been built by
St. Miniato. A victim of the persecutions of the Emperor Decius
(249-251 A.D.), Miniato is thought to have been an Armenian prince.
The brilliant play of light that is created when the sun shines
on the exterior of the monument, as well as that to be found in
the interior of the apse, are alone enough to make it well worth
while making this short trip from Florence. The interior (where
additions were carried out up until Baroque times) is divided into
three naves, with a beautiful 11th century inlaid marble floor decorated
with the Symbols of the Zodiac in the center. The Monumental Cemetery
of the Holy Gates outside the Basilica is also well worth a visit.
This cemetery was established in the last century in the conventual
area, inside the fortified enclosure created by Michelangelo in
and Topic from Ted in Manhattan Beach, California)
This web site contains an information-packed table that allows
you to compare 12 of the leading alternative cancer treatments
side-by-side. Visitors can click on any of 10 aspects of each
treatment and see expanded information. There are also the recent
(April 2004) results of two independent laboratories tests of
Cancell (brand names Cantron and Protocel) that show it to be
many times more powerful than the previous best antioxidants and
the only antioxidant that is effective against both of the most
dangerous and difficult to defeat free radicals.
CLICK BELOW TO SHARE THIS ISSUE
WITH YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY
BOOMERANGS ON THE BARBIE?
Is Australia an island or a continent
...and what about boomerangs?
Laughing It Off
A CAT'S GUIDE TO HUMANS
Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?
So, you've decided to get yourself a human being! In doing so, you've
joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange
and often frustrating creatures. What's so great about humans, anyway?
greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries,
but the answer is actually rather simple: THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting
the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and
other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages,
find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs
also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere near as easy to
2. How And When to Get Your Human's Attention?
Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important
activities than taking care of your immediate needs, such as housekeeping,
going to their jobs, spending time with their families or even sleeping.
this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your
advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest.
It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it
to do. Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human
to do what you want:
Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper
in front of it, chances are good it's something they assume is more
important than you. They will often offer you a snack to lure you
away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every
opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards,
remote controls, car keys and small children.
Waking your human at odd hours: A cat's golden time is between
3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human's sleeping
face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it
will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want.
You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention.
Remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting
3. Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?
The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans
with the thoughtful gift of a recently disemboweled animal. Some
believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others
maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just
as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking
the creatures up after they've been presented.
After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend that
cold-blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes
and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm-blooded
animals (birds, rodents, your neighbor's Pomeranian) are better
still living. When you see the expression on your human's face,
you'll know it's worth it.
4. How Long Should You Keep Your Human?
You are only obligated to your human for one of your lives. The
other eight are up to you. We recommend mixing and matching, though
in the end, most humans (at least the ones that are worth living
with) are pretty much the same. But what do you expect? They're
humans, after all. Opposable thumbs will only take you so far.
by Phyllis in Santa Fe, New Mexico
LOOKING FOR LIFE-CHANGING BOOKS?
A portion of all purchases that you
make with Amazon.com from our website
will help support Inspiration Line programs.
SEE OUR INSPIRATIONAL
Untangling the Web
WHAT A SITE!
"Learn Your IQ"
You don't have to be a genius to try a free test. Most of them are
quick, easy and even entertaining. But if you want a more comprehensive
report, you might want to consider a paid test that includes a detailed
analysis of your intelligence. (Contributed by Jean in British Columbia)
Time to clean your mouse?
Gently turn the mouse over, where there is a removable piece that
holds the ball and comes off with a little twist. Pull the ball
out and remove any dirt, fur, hair, etc. Usually just wiping off
the ball with a lint free cloth will do the trick. If it's extra
grimy, rinse the ball under running water, making sure it's 110%
dry before reassembling. Next, look inside the mouse where the ball
was. You'll probably need to take a pair of tweezers and (carefully!)
pluck the hair/fur/lint off the rollers (they act like a magnet
for this stuff). You might even blow it out with some of that canned
air stuff. However, in case you're tempted, it's NOT a good idea
to wash it out with water. (Contributed
by Jane at TheCatsMeow.com)
Look at THAT!
An Irish cottage industry making
for newborn lambs is a surprise hit with British farmers. The smart,
blue, plastic jackets are put on lambs just hours after their birth
to keep them dry and warm and to confuse predatory foxes. Volunteers
in Baltinglass, County Wicklow, sold 25,000 of the jackets in the
UK and Ireland during the winter. Sales of the overcoats, designed
by a village priest, will fund a school for children with learning
difficulties. Local farmer Seamus Leigh uses the new coats to ensure
his lambs survive the most vulnerable period of their lives. "The
most critical stage in a lamb's life is its first four to five days,"
he said. "If we get the jackets on them within two hours of
them being born then they stand a better chance." Farmers say
foxes are bemused by the sight of the bright blue-coated lambs and
stay away from them. Customers are now ordering the coats in England,
Wales, Scotland and Ireland. Margaret Byrne, a voluntary worker
who makes the coats said she was surprised the idea was such a success,
"We started off with it being a small adventure and it has
since really taken off." ~BBC News World Edition
Just for YOU ...
OUR LATEST DISCOVERY
that you saw Nancy at Inspiration Line and you'll receive free shipping!
music! Thanks for using my works as your inspiration,"
Wayne Dyer, Bestselling Author
FINALLY HERE! The
long-awaited CD set of Nancy's first 3 albums
34 Original Songs Spanning 28 Years of Spiritual Growth,
plus Free Lyric Book!
say these songs taught me life's lessons, answered my prayers
my life is an understatement. I hope they can do the same
for you." ~Nancy
& VISIT ABERCROMBIE MUSIC TO HEAR CD SELECTIONS and
Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
CREATING A NEW FUTURE (Part 2)
you aren't being yourself, you get symptoms and problems that
seem insurmountable. Even if you have dreams of the future, you
can't figure out how to get there from here. Are you confused
about what you want and how to get it? Do your emotions sometimes
overwhelm you and make you reluctant to act? Suzanne
Gold, BA, MA co-author of Being
Yourself: 24 Ways to See the Light offers five
more ways to spark change in your life:
Don't keep score: Life isn't about winning or losing. The
point is to realize your potential. Success and failure can both
teach valuable lessons. Even a losing battle can be the exact
challenge we need to learn how to get the most out of life. Adversity
can develop strength. If a dream sours, let it go without judgment
or remorse. Assume it's no longer appropriate, and look for new
options. It could turn out to be a stepping stone to a better
situation. Life is change. Accepting that brings peace of mind.
No victims, no villains: Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles.
All the pieces fit together to create the whole. This means there's
no value in blaming anyone, and nothing to feel guilty or ashamed
about. The events of our lives are custom-made to teach us what
we need to learn. Allow things to be as they are. Accept each
moment as if you'd chosen it. If someone hurts you, look for the
lesson in it. Holding a grudge only perpetuates the distortion
and debilitates your own energy. Let it go. Forgiveness doesn't
mean changing how you feel about what happened, just releasing
its power to upset you. (This goes double for forgiving yourself.)
Meditate and treat yourself well: When life feels like chaos,
meditation can cut through the confusion and calm your mind. It's
easy to do, and it helps you understand your feelings and tap
into your inner wisdom. You are part of the universal creative
energy. Spirit underlies everything. You didn't come here to prove
your worth or to find a problem and fix it. You came to express
your talents and abilities, to realize your dreams. Take time
to have fun and enjoy life. Celebrate your successes, big or small.
Laugh. Take walks in nature. Spend time alone. Give yourself the
opportunity to find inspiration.
Get outside help: It helps to talk about your feelings, no
matter how stupid, strange or awful they sound to you. They're
messengers, pointing you in the direction of things you need to
clean up. Often we get stuck in resisting what we don't want,
which drains our energy. An outside perspective can help clear
up confusion and free your energy and creativity. Get counseling,
either by yourself or with family members. Don't follow advice
blindly, but do explore ideas that make sense to you and see what
happens. Only you have the responsibility for your own evolution.
Move on: You have no control over what anyone else feels or
thinks, so trying to change someone is futile, no matter how much
you care about them or how badly you think they need it. When
people are too far apart in their perspectives, retreat may be
the best response, at least for the moment. It could be as basic
as leaving the room briefly, or as extreme as ending the relationship,
or even moving away. Your first commitment should be to yourself
and to learning as much as possible from what happens to you.
Just live your own truth, be honorable, and intend the best outcome
for everyone involved. Do what you can when it works for you,
but not at your own expense. Respect your own boundaries. Only
when you're at peace can you really contribute to others.
matter what happens, trust that what you're going through will
eventually enlighten you. Change doesn't happen overnight. It
comes little by little, more and more, each time you bring awareness
to the problem. Don't be discouraged. No one is perfect. The most
important thing is a dedication to trying something new and learning
from your experience." ~Suzanne Gold
~ Chelle Thompson, Editor ~
TO THE MUSIC....
Our International Forum
Subscribers from Over 127 Countries
CHECK OUT OUR CURRENT TOPICS
User-Friendly Web-Board... ...No Personal Information Required
"The intent of Inspiration Line is to
show What Is Possible . By choosing new perspectives,
we can change ourselves from the inside out to improve our relationships,
our community and our planet."
NOTICE: All articles and images shown are believed to be public
domain and, therefore, re-printable material.
We make every attempt to credit original authors and websites,
and do not intentionally infringe on anyone's copyright.
Where a source is available, it has been stated. If you believe
mistake has been made or know the source of
an unattributed article or image, please write to: Editor@InspirationLine.com
and a correction will be made.
Thompson, Editor ~ Jean
Sutherland, Technical Angel & Website Guru ~ Jane Cate, The
This publication originates in Santa Fe, New Mexico 87502
Copyright © 2004 Inspiration Line -
All Rights Reserved
All transmissions are virus-free.