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you judge another,
you do not define them, you define yourself."
~ Wayne Dyer...
June 26, 2006
TODAY'S TUNE [ON/OFF]
Stand by You"
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THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
From the Inside Out...
Yes You Can!...
Untangling the Web...
What a Site and
Just for YOU...
Laughing It Off...
All I Need to
Burning the Midnight
The See-Saw Effect
It's Time to BE the World
You Want to See!
took me years and years to give myself a break and realize that I did NOT need
to be perfect ... even though my mother seemed to think so. Once I could then
breathe 'freely' personally, it became easy to forgive and forget missteps in
~ Chelle Thompson, Editor
From the Inside Out
was a slam dunk. At least, it should have been!
in the arena knew it as the tall, graceful athlete glided toward the basket. There
was no one within 20 feet of him, no obstacle to prevent him from scoring as he
had so many times before.
only question was: what kind of dunk would it be? A thundering, two-handed power
dunk, complete with the obligatory chin-up on the rim? Or a more aesthetically
pleasing one-handed dunk, perhaps with a little windmill action, or some over-the-shoulder
any case, it was going to be two points for My Team at a critical juncture of
a close, competitive NBA playoff game. And that was really all that mattered.
I added two points to our score as I watched the player My Player
move into position for a shot that 99 percent of NBA players would slam home 99
percent of the time.
then the unimaginable happened. He missed.
between dunking and simply laying the ball in the basket, My Player clanged the
ball off the rim. I couldn't believe it. Never mind that he was running at full
speed during a pressure-packed game, with thousands of opposing fans screaming
at him to miss. As far as I was concerned there was no excuse for missing such
an easy, automatic shot.
do you miss that shot?" I moaned to my sons, who were watching the game
with me. "A professional does NOT miss that shot, not in a game like this!"
the rest of the game, I was all over My Player. I groaned at every missed shot,
every blown defensive assignment, every bad pass. There's no question that he
didn't play a perfect game. In fact, he played poorly especially after
the missed dunk.
in my mind, every mistake was magnified by the memory of the ball clanging off
the rim. By the end of the game, I was prepared to blame the three-point loss
on the slam dunk that should have been.
a pro," I scolded him through the television screen as he walked to the
locker room, his head bowed in defeat. "A pro doesn't make mistakes like
that evening I was doing some filing when I paused to re-read a column from several
weeks earlier. I winced when I came upon a typo at least, I'm pretty sure
it was a typo. Did someone slip the word "tje" into the English
vocabulary when I wasn't looking?
didn't think so.
I messed up. Instead of "the" I had written "tje."
But it was an understandable error. After all, the letters "h" and "j"
are right next to each other on the keyboard. Anyone could slip and hit the wrong
as for missing the error in the editing process ... well, I had been in
a great hurry that week. Besides, anyone reading the column would know that I
meant to write "the," not "tje."
And I was sure the editors to whom I send the column outstanding professionals
one and all would catch the mistake and fix it before it went into publication.
had just about rationalized the mistake into oblivion when a local sportscaster
began showing highlights from the game during the nightly news. Sure enough, the
first clip he showed was My Player missing that easy basket.
stomach started churning all over again until I glanced down at the column in
my hands. My eyes went directly to "tje." And somewhere
in the back of my mind I heard a familiar, scolding voice: "You're a pro.
A pro doesn't make mistakes like that!" Especially not on "the,"
which should have been ... you know ... a slam dunk.
guess it's true we don't really have a right to expect perfection in others
until we're prepared to expect it in ourselves. And not just professionally. This
also holds true on the highway, in the grocery store, at the movies and most especially
in the home. Unless we can offer ourselves as a perfect example, we ought to be
willing to cut each other a lot of slack.
other words, judge not ... even if you dunk not ...
Veteran journalist, columnist,
critic and author of the
Remedies for an Ailing World
IN PEACE, WAKE IN JOY"
Yes You Can!
HAVE THE COURAGE
the concept of courage and healing seem at all intriguing? It does to me.
physician, a gastroenterologist with over 25 years clinical experience of caring
for patients I have pondered the difference between how I was trained to practice
my profession and my present understanding of healing. As a product of the traditional
approach to medicine, I viewed the patient as a machine who was suffering from
some undisclosed mechanical failure. Why else would they be sitting before me
in my office? Certainly I was aware that anxiety or depression could exacerbate
the symptoms of disease, but the extent to which the mind, body and spirit were
united was unappreciated.
as my own understanding evolved, it became crystal clear that all three elements
co-existed, interacted and inter-related in a dynamic flow. Since the term healing
referred to making whole, all aspects of the patient needed to be
understood and addressed if true healing was to be accomplished.
also came to appreciate, to a far greater degree than I could have imagined, that
my role as physician was to facilitate the bodys intrinsic and phenomenal
ability to heal itself.
I began educating my patients to this truth. As products of our cultures
mechanistic paradigm of disease, they would enter my examining room as if they
were bringing their car to a mechanic. Whether expressed explicitly or not, the
attitude was, fix me, youre the doctor. I had to help transform
that attitude and challenge them to participate in their own healing.
some it became a rather frightening concept to ponder. It meant taking charge
of their own mental/emotional/ spiritual state of being. It meant facing their
own demons. It required the courage to see that their symptoms might be the tip
of a deeper iceberg of discontent and disequilibrium; that their symptoms might
very well reflect a deeper dis-ease of mind and spirit; that they would have to
listen to what their body was telling them and come to terms with feelings and
thoughts that had been previously denied or even repressed.
COURAGE TO BE HEALED
you can understand the nature of healing you must understand the spiritual nature
of human beings. While for some patients this will have to do with faith, religion
and a belief in God, for others it may simply be a sense of connection to the
Universe or to Spirit.
universal human attraction to religion and spirituality can not be debated here,
yet it also cannot be ignored in any discussion of healing. There are great insights
to be found in all the worlds traditions, as well as many schools of metaphysics.
Oftentimes, it is the search for relief from illness or imbalance that leads people
to find their true spiritual path.
theologian Paul Tillich had written about courage all of us need in the face of
lifes enormous existential challenges. Fear is the primal human state of
being. We face it as children as we confront the cold reality that we are unique,
vulnerable and sensitive beings.
Henceforth, our lives seem to require a constant struggle against the slings
and arrows of outrageous fortune. We become reactive to real and perceived
threats from others. We fear intimacy and the expression of love for this exposes
our inner fragility. For many this becomes an attitude that ranges from sadness
and depression to hostility and outrage.
feelings form the substrate for disease itself. Healing often requires the courage
to face that perception and the courage to choose to transform that feeling/attitude/belief
into a mechanism for growth and equanimity. How we cope with these ever-present
challenges helps determine the quality of our lives.
are powerful strategies which can unquestionably help us in our own internal struggles.
We need to learn, and really get, that our minds do create our own
realities and that courage is needed to face the challenge, to own up to that
truth. It is not easy, but ultimately it is the only path to internal peace and,
Steven E. Hodes, MD.,
is a board certified gastroenterologist with over 25 years private practice based
in New Jersey. He also has a degree in Religious Studies and teaches Contemporary
Metaphysics at Brookdale College, as well as lecturing and writing on Kabbalah
and Healing, the Jewish View of Afterlife and on Near-Death Experience. Visit
him at his daily Blog, Physician to Meta-Physician at www.Meta-MD.com
Inspiration Line's Website for More...
OUR GREAT GIFTS FOR GRADS
the World You Want to See"©
... Each choice we make
causes a ripple effect ...
journal is unlined
in a handy 5" x 8" on-the-go
size to fit almost
Be creative and let the muse flow.
Photo by: AP/Torsten Blackwood
stand on the icy bank of Yenisei river in Krasnoyarsk, the third largest city
in Siberia, founded as a fort in July 1628 and the center of the Siberian Cossack
movement in the 19th century. Krasnoyarsk, rich in culture and natural beauty,
was not accessible to tourists and visitors until the late 1980's, as it was hidden
from main tourists routes. A bridge near Krasnoyarsk carries the Trans-Siberian
Railway across the Yenisei. It was built between 1893 and 1896, and was honored
in the Paris Exhibition at the same time as the Eiffel Tower. The World Heritage
List in 2003 described it as "an early representation of a typical parabolic
polygonal truss bridge in Russia" which became "a testing ground for
the application of engineering theories and the development of new innovative
solutions worldwide." The right bank of Yenisei is notable for the National
Nature Reserve Stolby (Pillars in Russian) which covers an area of 470
km² (181 mile²) with numerous giant granite rock formations, many of
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Airfare -Cars - Cruises - Hotels
WHAT A SITE!
E. Morin Master Sculptor"
For 50 years Tom Morin's interest in sculptural
composition has been greatly influenced by the physical structures of Renaissance
frames, oriental scrolls and architectural forms that are universal to all cultures.
During the last 20 years he has been working with plastic-backed sanding belts
and discs which he veneers onto a wood armature. The color is achieved by retaining
the natural embedded material that has been sanded: exotic wood, pewter, aluminum,
etc. Most of the works are reliefs and reflect the colors and meditative quality
of the high mesa desert.
Link's Are Not Live"
First, your popup stopper could be interfering
with the links you are trying to open. If this is the case, you can hit the Ctrl
button and click on the link again. Ctrl + a click allows the link to open.
Second, if you use Internet Explorer, you have to make sure it is set as your
default browser. To check this, open IE and go to Tools, Internet Options.
Click on the Programs tab and make sure the box at the bottom that says
"Internet Explorer should check to see whether it is the default browser"
is checked. This will allow IE to open any links that you click on.
those two things still don't fix the link problem, check that your folder options
are set to your specific browser. Go to Start, Control Panel and make sure
it is in the classic view. Once there, click on the Folder Options icon
and choose the File Types tab. Highlight "(NONE) URL: HyperText
Transfer Protocol" and click on the Advanced button, then the
Edit button. In the the Application line make sure it says IExplore and
so on (for whichever browser you use). If you've recently switched browsers, you
may still have your old settings in there and that could be causing the problem
with the links.
A PRINT JOB
is it when I go to cancel a print job,
the printer just keeps on printing?
Learn ways to stop a runaway printer.
FOR THE RECOVERING SOUL
written specifically to help those in all areas of recovery, "An Inspirational
Guide for the Recovering Soul" offers inspiration and guidance to everyone
on a spiritual path. Whether we, or someone we love, are dealing with substance
addiction, childhood abuse or trauma, posttraumatic stress or even the effects
of disturbing world affairs, the vast majority of us are involved in some form
of soul recovery. Author Barbara Sinor, Ph.D., has written this book for us.
ENTER HERE FOR PURCHASE DETAILS
ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE ...
I Learned From a Cow:
just be one of the herd.
Wake up in a happy mooo-d.
days can be udder frustration.
Munch hay while the sun shines.
Party 'till the cows come home.
Don't cry over
The cream always rises to the top.
Don't stoop to a
Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve
Don't be bossy.
If it's good, milk it for all its worth!
you need to get somewhere, hoof it.
Successful people are the moo-vers
Don't take any bull from anybody.
your heart will always steer you in the right direction.
lives with the herd learns to watch his step.
Sometimes it's better to
be seen and not herd.
Don't forget to cow-nt your
blessings every day!
by Jane at The-Cats-Meow.com
BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL
Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly Insights
THE SEE-SAW EFFECT
to the old adage, Silence ISNT always golden. It can often be a lethal
weapon! I used to think that if I held in my anger, no one would know, and Id
be the lovable diplomat. Well, people couldnt hear it, but they sure could
feel it ... which was even more destructive because the anger energy
came out of nowhere without being defined. Internalizing my anger also made ME
miserable, and would have eventually caused physical illness had I not realized
what was happening and changed my behavior pattern. Lets
take an expanded look at what happens when we push our feelings down inside of
ourselves and dont express the complete truth.
is a frequent phenomenon in relationships called the Seesaw Effect.
This happens when whatever anger, fear, worry, anxiety, etc. that we are suppressing
transfers over, and is expressed by another person. I
have coined the term Energetically Audible to describe how our unspoken
feelings are actually quite perceptible by others. Our emotional tension
affects everyone were in relationship with whether its a romantic
partner, family member, child, business partner, whomever. What we do with our
emotions on a daily basis pushing them down or talking about them or hiding
them defines the quality of our life. Like a storage tank, we are all containers
of emotional energy which can either rise up in the container or stay very low.
In her incredible audio/video tape program Making Love Work, Dr. Barbara
DeAngelis (author of Real
Moments: Discover the Secret for True Happiness )
calls this energy transfer "TANKING" and illustrates the process in
the diagram below:
you can see, a family is actually an interconnected system of energy containers.
All of the fear, anger, sadness, worries, unhappiness, etc. that the parents suppress
is tanked over to the children who express it by acting out, bed-wetting, shyness,
drug and alcohol abuse, etc. Addictions are rampant in the world because
they temporarily let us become numb so we dont feel how much stuff is in
our tank, explains Dr. DeAngelis. Through awareness and action
we can change our programming and break the family chain of tanking.
The little pipe connecting these containers represents the RELATIONSHIP. When
we are in relationship with someone we can feel their energy. We know when
theyre upset, even if theyre not talking about it, and we know when
theyre happy and can tell when their moods change. This pipe effect allows
us to feel what someone close to us feels.
a husband and wife (call them Fred and Ethel) are talking about the upcoming holiday
weekend. Ethel says, I was thinking about the two of us going away without
the kids for a romantic getaway this weekend. Fred replies, Oh
honey, I forgot to tell you my old college roommate, Rickie, is coming to town
and we thought itd be cool to go fishing for three days. Ethel
feels the anger bubbling inside her, but, its NOT NICE to be angry, so she
shoves the anger down saying, Oh, its no big deal! Her
suppressed anger energy then pushes through the pipe (see diagram) and Fred, all
of a sudden, starts feeling annoyed.
continues, The fishing is fine, I understand. Fred says,
It doesnt sound like you understand, you sound annoyed. As
he gets upset, she pushes her anger down more, saying, Its okay,
Im not upset, you dont have to raise your voice. He yells,
Youre always telling me what to do! As he gets more angry,
she gets even calmer and says, Honey, I didnt do anything ... why
are you yelling at me? As she shoves it down further, Fred blows up
and leaves the room. Ethel looks shocked and says What at temper!
We were just having a nice little talk. Whats HIS problem? This
is tanking in action ... emotions we suppress, deny, wont feel or
pretend we arent having, will be expressed by our partner and vice versa.
In the example of Fred and Ethel, who looks like the nice one in the relationship
and who looks like the hot head? Ethel is SO sweet and even tempered and that
Fred gets sooooooo volatile and mad at things!
our partner (or child, close friend, work associate, etc.) is someone who pushes
down everything, we need to be prepared to feel like were out of control
with all kinds of emotions flying through us. If we should decide to leave that
relationship, wed probably find ourselves feeling surprisingly calm and
peaceful. That is until we pick up the phone and call them, or meet them for coffee.
Then our pipe reconnects and the tanking starts again.
BOTH containers push down their emotional energy, the pipe bursts with the pressure.
This is the main reason we lose that feeling of connection, sense of intimacy
and the chemistry in our relationships. The solution is for us to clean out our
tanks ... to free ourselves of emotional tension. One way to do this is
by understanding and clearing our emotional baggage from childhood or otherwise.
Secondly, each tank has a release valve ... its called a MOUTH. When
you feel the emotional tension building up, express it and put words to your feelings.
Open the valve to let the energy out. (A word of caution, however, dont
use this as artillery by blaming your partner for your feelings or saying, Im
feeling sort of angry, whats bothering YOU? )
Goodier of www.LifeSupportSystem.com
adds: "The most effective way of dealing with anger is to express it
in words. Talk it out with the person with whom you are upset. As William
Blake wrote: I was angry with my friend, I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe. I told it not, my wrath did grow. Anger
must be "told" to be stilled. And if it is not possible to talk
directly with the offending person, find a good listener. Sometimes, just getting
it out is enough. Further, talk it out soon, since unacknowledged anger is
a malignant tumor. Don't let the sun set on your anger, but rather strive
to finally let go of each day's resentment in order to keep a clean slate.
are each responsible for how we CHOOSE
to perceive life, and, hence, respond
to it ...
Chelle (Pronounced 'Shay') Thompson
"The intent of Inspiration Line is to
show What Is Possible by choosing new perspectives,
we can change ourselves
from the inside out to improve our relationships, our community and our planet."
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