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Know & Grow Monthly Magazine
"In the attitude of silence the soul finds
the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and
deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness."

~ Mahatma Gandhi... Quotes for YOU

May 30, 2005


TODAY'S TUNE[ON/OFF]


"Close to You"

Inspirational Music

[FREE DOWNLOADS]


THIS WEEK'S ISSUE


From the Inside Out...
Missing Pa


Yes You Can!...
Keep Gums Healthy
for Your Heart
(Pet Hearts, Too)


Far Horizons...
Notre-Dame Cathedral


Untangling the Web
...
What a Site!
&
Computer Ease


Just for YOU...
Special Treats


Fascinating Facts...
Uniquely Opalescent


Laughing It Off...
Court Transcripts


Web-Wize Update...
Daily Security Alerts


Joyful Lifestyles...
Smelling the Roses


Inspiration Online Magazine

BE the World
You Want to See!

My dear friend, Denys Cope, who also lives here in Santa Fe, is a Hospice Nurse, Author and End-of-Life Coach. She has written an incredible book called, Dying: A Natural Process in which she tells about "switching from a physical energy source to a spiritual energy source." Her book is filled with the kind of clarity that everyone needs to have under these circumstances.

~ Chelle ~

 

From the Inside OutInspiration Online Newsletter - Grandpa
MISSING PA

One day, my four-year-old son, Sam, told me that he had seen his baby-sitter crying because she had broken up with her boyfriend. "She was sad," Sam explained to me.

Then he sat back in his car seat and sighed. "I've never been sad," he said, dreamily, "Not ever." It was true. Sam's life was happy in no small part because of his special relationship with my father.

Last spring my father died, and everything changed for us. Pa Hood was more than just a grandfather to Sam. As Sam eagerly told everyone, they were best buddies. Long before my father became ill, Sam and I watched the movie Anne of Green Gables. In the scene when Anne wished aloud for a bosom friend, Sam sat straight up. "That's me and Pa," he declared. "Bosom friends forever and ever." My father described their relationship the same way.

When I went out of town to teach one night a week, it was Pa in his red pickup truck who met Sam at school and brought him back to his house, where they played pirates and knights and Robin Hood. They even dressed alike: pocket T-shirts, baseball caps, and jeans. Sam had overnights with Pa, where they'd cuddle until late at night and giggle when my mother ordered them to be quiet and go to sleep. The next morning they'd indulge in sugary cereals and cartoons, treats forbidden at home. They had special restaurants they frequented, playgrounds where they were regulars, and toy stores where Pa allowed Sam to race up and down the aisles on motorized cars.

When I'd arrive to take Sam home, he always cried. "Pa, I love you. I miss you already!" He memorized my father's phone number when he was 2 and called him every morning and every night. "Pa," Sam would ask, clutching the phone, "can I call you ten hundred more times?" Pa always said yes, and then answered the phone each time with equal delight.

In the months that my father was in the hospital with lung cancer, I worried about how Sam would react to Pa's condition the bruises, from needles, the oxygen tubes, his weakened body. When I explained to Sam that seeing Pa so sick might scare him, Sam was surprised. "He's my Pa," he said. "He could never scare me." And he never did. Sam would walk into the hospital room and climb right into bed with my father, undaunted by the changes in Pa's appearance or in the increasing amount of medical apparatus he acquired every day. I watched adults approach the bedside with great trepidation, unsure of what to say or do. But Sam seemed to know exactly what was right: hugs and jokes, just as always. "Are you coming home soon?" he'd ask. "I'm trying," Pa would tell him.

Since my father's death, I have kept my overwhelming sadness at bay. When well-meaning people approach me to ask how I'm doing, their brows furrowed in sympathy, I give them a short answer and swiftly change the subject. I'd rather not confront the questions and the feelings that my dad's death has raised. But Sam is different. He thinks that wondering aloud and sorting out together is the best way to understand.

"So," he says, settling into his car seat, "Pa's in space, right?" Or loudly in church, where he points upward to the stained-glass window: Is one of those angels Pa?" Right after my father died, I told Sam he was in heaven. "Where's heaven?" Sam asked. "No one knows exactly," I said, "but lots of people think it's in the sky." Sam thought about that and then shook his head. "No," he said, "it's very far away. Near Cambodia." "When you die," he said on another afternoon, "you disappear, right? And when you faint, you only disappear a little. Right?"

Each time he offers one of these possibilities he waits for me to confirm it as true. He is sorting out the things he's certain of and the things he's trying to understand. I think his questions are good. The part I have trouble dealing with is what he always does after he asks: He looks me right in the eye with more hope than I can stand and waits for my approval or correction or wisdom. But in this matter, my own fear and ignorance are so large that I grow dumb in the face of his innocence. The truth is, I have no answer to the question we struggle hardest with: How can we find a way to be with my father when we don't know where or even if he is?

Remembering Sam's approach to my father's illness, I began to watch his approach to grief. At night, he would press his face against his bedroom window and cry, calling out into the darkness, "Pa, Pa, I love you! Sweet dreams!" Then, after his crying stopped, he would climb into bed, drained but satisfied somehow, and sleep. I, on the other hand, would wander the house all night, not knowing how to mourn.

One day, in the supermarket parking lot, I caught sight of a red truck like my father's; for an instant I forgot he had died. My heart leaped as I thought, Dad's here shopping too! Then I remembered, and I succumbed to an onslaught of tears. Sam climbed into the front seat, jamming himself onto my lap between me and the steering wheel. "I know," he soothed, wiping my wet cheeks. "You miss Pa, don't you?" I managed to nod. "Me too," he said. "But you have to believe he's with us, Mommy. Watching and loving us. You have to believe that, or what will we ever do?"

Too young to attach to a particular ideology, Sam had simply decided that the only way to deal with grief and loss was to believe that death does not really separate us from those we love. I couldn't show him heaven on a map or explain the course a soul might travel. But he found his own way to cope. I can't honestly say that I've fully accepted my father's death, even all these months later. But my son has taught me a lot about how to grieve.

Recently, while I was cooking dinner, Sam sat by himself at the kitchen table and quietly colored in his Spiderman coloring book. "I love you too," he said. I laughed and turned to face him. "No," I told him. "You say, 'I love you too only after someone says, 'I love you first."

"I know that," Sam said. "Pa just said 'I love you, Sam' and I said 'I love you too. " As he spoke, he kept coloring and smiling. "Pa just talked to you?" I asked. "Oh, Mommy," Sam said, "he tells me he loves me every day. He tells you too. You're just not listening." Again, I have begun to take Sam's lead. I have begun to listen.

~Author Unknown, From Around the Web
Aging With Dignity: The Five Wishes Document

Archives Here To Read Many More Heartwarming Stories & Poetry

Inspiration Online Magazine
Ye
s You Can!

KEEP GUMS HEALTHY + HEART *pet hearts, too!

Keeping your pearly whites and your gums healthy may be key to keeping your heart in good health: Researchers have found a link between gum disease and increased risk for atherosclerosis, the build-up of plaque in the walls of the arteries that can lead to heart attack and stroke. In a study published in February in the journal Circulation, researchers at Columbia University Medical Center measured specific bacteria that are known to cause periodontitis, a more severe form of gum disease, as well as other bacteria, in the mouths of more than 600 people ages 55 and older with no history of stroke or heart attack.

The scientists also looked at the thickness of the carotid arteries, the two major arteries on each side of the neck that supply blood to the brain. Thickening of the carotid arteries can lead to stroke and heart attacks. The results showed a clear link between the bacteria that cause serious gum disease and thicker carotid arteries, even when other factors such as smoking, high blood pressure and diabetes were accounted for.

So how does what's in your mouth affect your heart? Studies have shown that in people who have gum disease, the bacteria migrate to the bloodstream. So, down the line, that may lead to adverse events like heart attack and stroke. The bacteria may attach to fatty plaque in the arteries of the heart, contributing to clot formation, according to the American Academy of Periodontology (AAP).

Another theory involves a hyperinflammatory response to the abundance of bacteria in the mouth. People don't realize that there are no other places in the body where so many bacteria are in contact for a long period of time, which constantly stimulates the immune system. The immune system, in turn, may over-respond, creating hyperinflammation, which stresses the heart and blood vessels. Then there's C-reactive protein (CRP), a protein released by the body in response to injury or inflammation. Higher levels of CRP are a marker for increased heart-disease risk.

In a Nutshell: Because the main cause of periodontal disease is bacterial plaque — a sticky film that constantly forms on your teeth — it's essential to keep plaque at bay, especially the subgingival kind that's below the gums. Just as important is regular brushing (twice a day), regular cleanings at the dentist (twice a year) and a practice many of us neglect: flossing. Flossing gets into the spaces between the teeth and the gums. That will break up the bacteria and never let them get established. Even toothpicks can be used to clean between teeth. Most periodontitis starts between the teeth.

Also Note: Medications, including painkillers, antihistamines, diuretics, antidepressants and high-blood-pressure medications, can cause side effects that increase your chances for periodontitis. If you notice changes in the soft tissue in your mouth or if food and drinks taste differently, talk to your dentist or see a periodontist — especially if side effects include a dry mouth. Saliva buffers the effects of acid on teeth and adds lubrication to protect against gum disease. The drier the mouth, the more inflamed it gets, and it's harder to clear plaque from your mouth.

* LIKEWISE, IT'S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO MONITOR YOUR PET'S TEETH, TOO:

Pet professionals say it's crucial for owners to pay attention to their pet's oral hygiene. For anything procedural — like dental work, spaying and neutering — animals are put out with an anesthetic. Some owners may be leery of putting their pets through it, but what many people don't realize is infected gums can lead to bacteria in the blood, which can sometimes lead to heart disease: Checking teeth should be part of a pet's yearly physical exam. Some local veterinarians provide dental care for pets as well as medical care. In some ways, it's a lot like dental work in humans — teeth are scraped in a procedure called "scaling," they are polished and pulled, if necessary.

That's why it's very important to brush your pet's teeth (if possible) and also to make sure they get their teeth cleaned by the vet regularly — once a year may not be enough. Also, watch for warning signs, like bad breath. "Dog breath" actually may not be as normal as you might think. Even a good clean mouth on a dog might smell bad to us, but when they have BAD TEETH, it really smells terrible and they need immediate attention.

~ By Lorie A. Parch Special to MSN


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Far Horizons

NOTRE-DAME CATHEDRAL

Notre-Dame in Paris
Notre Dame Rear Gardens
Learn More Here
In the heart of Paris, on the Ile-de-la-Cité
(where the first inhabitants of Paris settled in 250 BC) sits the architectural masterpiece Notre-Dame. This cathedral was begun in 1163 when Pope Alexander III himself laid the first stone, yet it was not completely finished till 1345. Notre Dame (which means "our lady") is an early Gothic design with glorious rose windows and the famous flying buttresses. The Romans initially built temples on this site; in the middle ages it was a place of refuge for the homeless, a stage for plays and a market for merchants. During the 12th century the French cathedral school became an intellectual center which gave birth to the Collège de Sorbonne, which remains one of the most famous and prestigious university in the world, having produced a number of Nobel Prize winners from its faculty and student body.

MORE:
Inspirational TravelEnter Here
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Untangling the Web

Inspiration Online Magazine
WHAT A SITE!

"Messages from the Angels"
This site delivers angelic messages on the wings of beautiful angels and peaceful music. The angel messages are a much needed antidote for these fearful times, for they are all about hope, peace, freedom and love. "We see a world where differences are welcomed as opportunity for exploration and discovery of new points of view."
www.MessagesFromTheAngels.com

Check HereInspirational Links

Inspiration Online Magazine

COMPUTER-EASE

"How to Highlight Text"
Put your cursor at the point where you want to start highlighting (i.e., selecting) the text. Then hold down your SHIFT key and use your up / down arrows. You'll find when you hold down an arrow that the text scrolls (and highlights) at a much more manageable rate. Oh, if the section is really big, tap your Page Up and Page Down keys till you get close to where you need to stop.

Computer Tips Here: EVER WONDER WHAT PROCESS GOES WITH WHICH PROGRAM?

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Just for YOU
SPECIAL TREATS


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Fascinating Facts
UNIQUELY 'OPALESCENT'

Inspiration Online Magazine


Is it true that opals contain water and fossils?
CHECK HERE:Learn the Details Here

And Here Are Some Touching Memorial Day Messages to Share:
"High Flight" ........ "The World Within Our Reach"



Laughing It Off
Ooooops!
COURT TRANSCRIPTS

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court: Legal Laughs, Court Jests and Just Jokes Culled from the Nation's Justice System" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been on dead people.

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure? Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


~Contributed by Mary Lynn in Peoria, Illinois

ARCHIVES:..Humor Archives Here

Web-Wize Update
DAILY SECURITY ALERTS



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SCAMS, HOAXES AND VIRUS THREATS

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Joyful Lifestyles: Weekly InsightsInspiration Online Magazine - Joy
SMELLING THE ROSES

The following wonderful advice is from Maureen Killoran, who is a Life Coach with a passion for helping people connect their strengths with their vision. Maureen offers dynamic individual and group coaching, work team empowerment training, teleclasses, and a free monthly e-zine, Seeds of Change. Big news this spring is Maureen's new e-workbook, Spirit Tickling — a selection of her absolutely best articles, with questions to lead you further on your path of personal growth.

"Stop and smell the roses," people often say. Then they smile ruefully, because everybody knows there isn't enough TIME to stop or, as my daughter says, to "chill." This is the Conventional Wisdom — and I'm here to tell you that the CW is simply WRONG. Researchers in Positive Psychology find that people actually get more done if they take time out to SAVOR their day. Not only that, but, over time, people who set aside a few hours every week are likely to be healthier, more relaxed, and better able to cope with the stresses of everyday life. Why not try it? Give yourself the gift of Savoring. (Hey, stress is all you have to lose!)

"To start, make a list of 10 things you REALLY enjoy doing, whether or not you've made time for them lately. I'm talking about stuff that gives you real pleasure. They may be things you do alone, or with one other person, or with a group. Look over the list, and see if one thing says "pick me." Choose one of those activities that you enjoy. Now: Take out your calendar, and SOME TIME IN THE NEXT MONTH, block out at least a 2-hour period that is JUST FOR YOU. Half a day is better. A whole day is best of all. Do whatever is needed to make that time free. Ask a neighbor to baby-sit. Tell your spouse you'll be busy. Say "no" to the half-dozen requests that will almost certainly challenge your Savoring Time. And when Your Day comes . . . GO FOR IT, whether you're making a picture, walking in the woods, going to a movie, or just sitting still. What matters is that you're doing something you really enjoy. These tricks will help you get the most out of your day:

1. Give yourself permission this is Your Day. It is absolutely 100% okay for you to be taking this time. Leave your cell phone at home, or at least turned off. When killjoy thinking comes along (and it will), play with it. Pretend it's a stick floating in a stream, and just let it drift away.
2. Keep the day alive collect a souvenir or take mental photographs to help you hold on to this special time.
3. Focus as though you were taking a photograph, adjust the 'depth of field.' Focus on selected aspects of the experience and let the others go.
4. Immerse Yourself Try not to analyze the experience, just be there. You're savoring, remember?
5. Tell the story Share your experience with a friend or partner — the joy that's shared multiples by ten.
6. Write it down — Read it over as a reminder in a few days or weeks.

"When your Savoring Time is over, celebrate! Pat yourself on the back for challenging the Conventional Wisdom. And, while you're at it, why not take out your calendar and make another date for Savoring Your Day?" — © 2004 Life Coach Maureen Killoran, MA, DMin, www.SpiritQuestCoaching.com

Since there's no time like the present, grab that piece of paper right now and start making a list of
YOUR joyful things ... then schedule time on your calendar for your own personal Savoring Time experience!

Chelle Thompson ('Shay'), Editor

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