Installing Love on the HUMAN
Computer...
Customer: I really need some help. After much consideration,
I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech
Support : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer:
Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install
it now. What do I do?
Tech
Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located
your HEART?
Customer:
Yes, I have, but there are several other programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
Tech
Support: What programs are running?
Customer:
Let's see... I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,
and RESENTMENT.EXE running now.
Tech
Support: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own
called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn
off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.EXE. Those programs prevent LOVE
from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
Customer:
I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech
Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until it's erased the programs
you don't want.
Customer:
Okay, now LOVE has started installing itself automatically.
Is that normal?
Tech
Support: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will
stay installed for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer:
Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?
Tech
Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get
the upgrades.
Customer:
Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?
Tech
Support: What does the message say?
Customer:
It says "ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS."
What does that mean?
Tech
Support: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that
the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTs but has
not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you
have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE"
others.
Customer:
So what should I do?
Tech
Support: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer:
Yes, I have it.
Tech
Support: Excellent. You're getting good at this. Now, click
on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART"
directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching
any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITICISM.EXE
from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards
to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer:
Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MP3
is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE,
and CONTENTMENT.EXE are copying themselves all over my HEART.
Is this normal?
Tech
Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually
everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed
and running. You should be able to handle it from here. Ah,
one more thing.
Customer:
Yes?
Tech
Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with
other people and they will return some similarly cool modules
back to you.
Customer:
I will! Thanks for your help!
